Why UnFinnished Rambler Needs a TV

Predator Press

Tuesday Morning QB: Don't call it a comeback...

...because it wasn't. I led the entire way and despite my mistake of playing a sleeper (Isaac Redman for 5 fantasy points) in place of the tried and true (either Jahvid Best with 29 fantasy points or Willis McGahee, 19), I still pulled off the victory 101-92 over Renal Failure.

It might have been a TKO, but it still was a KO.

Not that RF didn't try to mount the comeback, which sounds sort of dirty if you think about it too much, you perverts. Coming into last night's Lions-Bears game, he only had 59 points, but thanks to a mega-26 points from Megatron, off five receptions for 130 yards, and seven from Robbie Gould, RF got close but it was no cigar.

 RF does own a copy of Joe Dirt on DVD. Sad but true.

Next week's opponent is LOBO with his Predator Press squad. I think he also owns a copy of Joe Dirt but on VHS.

Week 5: Renal vs. Rambler

by 2010 HBFFL Champion Renal Failure





Give us the cuttlefish, Rambler!

So Renal Failure goes from knocking off the top team in the league in Week 4 to playing against a team in Week 5 that just picked up its first win of the season last week. Seems like a drop-off in terms of dramatic tension, but this week's game revives an old HBFFL grudge match between your People's Champion and the Un-Ramblers of the UnfinishedPerson, formerly the UnfinishedRambler, formerly John Cougar Mellancamp. No, we made that last part up.

But what we're not making up is that we're in the bye week section of the season where teams won't be able to field their optimal lineups, where bench depth comes into play. And this week has hit Renal Failure in some sensitive areas.


If you're kicker is on a bye week, she's available...

Renal Failure is without starting QB Tony Romo, but even more troubling is that we're without our starting TE Jason Witten. This puts your People's Champion at the mercy of Raiders QB Jason Campbell and Bengals TE Jermaine Gresham. Campbell is 12th in scoring when it comes to QB's in the HBFFL so that's not a bad drop-off, but we'll need Gresham to really step his game up considering how much we rely on production from Witten. Luckily for us Yahoo! only has Gresham projected for 4 points and we're confident he can exceed that.

Rambler doesn't have any big bye week losses to his line up, other than Felix Jones and Ryan Torain. He's depending a lot on Michael Vick (projected for 24 points) and Greg Jennings (projected for 13). And he's hoping that Andre Johnson's injury in Houston sends more balls toward TE Owen Daniels. For his running backs, he's starting MJD but also taking a gamble on Isaac Redman of the Steelers now that Mendenhall is hurt. Yahoo! is projecting Redman for 11 points, but is only giving 9 to Renal Failure's own Chris Johnson, which we don't think is right.


Our Lady of Tight Denim Victory... please grant us continued wins over Rambler who hasn't beaten us in the HBFFL since that infamous Dallas Clark game of 2008... Ines Sainz be praised...

Yahoo! has the Un-Ramblers winning 95-83 over your People's Champion, but we're not buying that. Yahoo! is severely underestimating the Renal Failure lineup (we've got Megatron, baby!), and people who underestimate Renal Failure end up with blood in their urine and another loss in the standings. Despite Yahoo!'s prognostications for a Renal Failure defeat, we expect to see the People's Champ rising to 4-1 and staying in the thick of the playoff hunt. Rambler, on the other hand... well, you take pride of your dominance in the FTWL.


Renal Failure is the defending 2010 HBFFL champion, the defending 2010 FTWL champion, and The People's Champion. Renal Failure also saw Human Centipede 2 this weekend. It was everything we hoped it would be... AND MORE!

I'm all about the modern, yo

I interrupt this week's regularly scheduled Tuesday Morning Quarterback post for a rebuttal of sorts to my fellow HBFFL owners who seem to think I live under a rock. To wit, this past week our esteemed leader Chris, who indicated that I used smoke signals to catch live NFL games and then later LOBO, in a comment on one of Renal Failure's posts, indicated that I use a transistor radio.

I would like to dispel those myths by showing you what I actually use to catch live NFL games:



It's been around since the last century, the latter part of the century unlike LOBO's suggestion of a transistor radio which was much earlier, and a century after the 19th unlike Chris's suggestion of smoke signals. True, I haven't caught up to the 21st century yet, but one day I will get there...

via fixedgear on Flickr

Tuesday Morning QB: Just One Move

Welcome to Tuesday Morning Quarterback, where I take a look back at what I (and sometimes others) would have (could have/should have) done differently with my (their) fantasy football teams for that previous week's games.

As for the others in this league, with three out of the four other games decided by 50-point margins and one decided by 10 points with a manager who had no one on the bench who did any better, there is nothing they could have done differently to avoid being royally screwed.

What I found via Flickr (thefixer) when I looked up "royally screwed" for an image to use and seems to fit so well except the part about "never give up."

With the game between me and Bald Spots being decided by only one point, with me being the frog in this case, to the tune of 82-81, I basically had just one move I could have played differently that would have made me the snake...

...I could have played Denver running back Willis McGahee, who had 22 carries for 52 yards and three catches for two yards and a touchdown against Tennessee, for 11 points over Detroit running back Jahvid Best, who had 12 carries for 14 yards but redeemed himself in the receiving category with five receptions for 74 yards, for eight points.

Sure, it only would have been a two-point win, 84-82, but at least, it would have been in my favor.

If you had to make just one move different on your fantasy football team's starting lineup this week, what move would YOU have made?

Tuesday Morning QB: The Walking Wounded

So what is it I/you would have done differently with my/you fantasy football team this past week if only I/you had had a crystal ball before this past weekend's games?

Um, duh!

We wouldn't have played the following players who became injured (including one who is out for the season) and would have looked for a replacement on the waiver wire or on our benches:

The last one, out of uniform and looking like a pimp daddy, is Braylon Edwards, who now plays for the San Francisco 49ers. I doubt the others need any introduction, and I know (hell to the no, sung to this song) that I don't need those first two introduced to me since they were the main reason I went down to defeat to rookie (and Canadian, no less -- turning my head to spit and then actually doing it) manager nonames by a tune of 127-92.

As if that wasn't bad enough, he had to use Jackson's teammate...this guy...



Of course, he's wearing a different uniform than he did in his college days, but this was the only photo labeled for reuse that I could find online that didn't have copyright restrictions. I'm not even going to bother to spit out his name, since I did my share of spitting earlier in this post. Instead, I'll let nonames chant his name in the comments like some warriors in a Mel Gibson movie since I already hear that abominable name ringing in my ears...

...they fought like Canadians and won their first game in the HBFFL.

From top to bottom, photos from Flickr, courtesy of: Hawk Eyes, RMTip21, The Brit_2, Hawk Eyes (again), Benjamin Chodroff and Wunderlich Photography.

So if you had that crystal ball, what would you have done differently this past weekend on YOUR fantasy football team?

Tuesday Morning QB: No and Yes

Welcome to another year of Tuesday Morning Quarterback where I look back at what I (and sometimes others) would have done differently with my (their) fantasy football team(s) for that previous week's game.

As for me, even though I lost 124-101 to Purple Drank here in the HBFFL, I wouldn't have done a thing differently as far as my lineup.

Let's review the starters: Vick at QB, Greg Jennings and DeSean Jackson at wide receivers, MJD at running back, Owen Daniels at tight end (other choice: Lance Kendricks, also had 1 point), Jahvid Best at flex (had Felix Jones but had same number of points: 11), Stephen Gostkowksi at kicker and the Patriots defense. No, no, no, no, no, no, no, and no. In case you missed it:

Courtesy of smlp.co.uk on Flickr

As for others, the only one in our league who might -- and hindsight is always 20/20 -- have played his cards differently than he did was Mark of Multiple Scorgasms. He played Pierre Garcon at wide receiver...where I would have gone with Chad Ochocinco just because Peyton Manning was out. At tight end, I would have gone with Aaron Hernandez over Tony Gonzalez, just because Hernandez was on fire from last year.

Yes, Mark still would have lost 99-90, but would have looked more respectable and at least would have tied for the lowest score with Future Ex-Cons instead of getting the lowest score.

So yes, he still would have sucked...but not just as badly. However, he set himself up for failure when he made his team slogan: "If at first you don't succeed, then maybe you just SUCK!" Um, self-fulfilling prophecy, anyone?

Courtesy of Andy Welsh on Flickr

We have a winner...

...um, I mean, a loser.

Wait, make that two losers when you count me too.

I'll let Beck take us out with a song for both Mark and me: