And Two-Piece if By Sea

Predator Press

[LOBO]

The New England Patriots haven't won a Superbowl since Tom Brady met Gisele Bundchen in 2007.

Chris, get some tight jeans, Tic-Tacs, and start slapping on eye-watering amounts of that Brut cologne you got for Christmas.

Drink as much alcohol as need to -but paper bag or no, you're gonna have to take one for the team here.

If that doesn't work, try seducing Gisele instead.

Your Own Personal Tebow

Detroit Lions to Place Calvin “Megatron” Johnson on Waivers

Predator Press

[LOBO]

“This is not a reflection on Calvin’s football skills,” insists Offensive Coordinator Scott Linehan. “He’s just too big.”

Complaints about Johnson –an unabashed armrest hog- aren’t limited to airline travel.

“He farts a lot," says Matthew Stafford, quarterback. "And every time he sees a Volkswagen, he punches me and giggles ‘Slugbug.’ Don’t ask me what a ‘PT Bruiser’ is. It’s just ugly all-around.”

“I should be worried about football,” remarks Lions Defensive Coordinator Gunther Cunningham. “But most of the season I’m completely preoccupied with making sure Calvin and Rex Ryan aren’t at the same continental breakfast.”

The Shame Report - Week 16

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MSNBC Exclusive on Why "What the Canuck" and "Nonamedufus" Edged Out of Playoffs

Only in Canada, eh?

Who knew.

RF, you have anything to do with this?