Saturday, October 1, 2011

Week 4: An Old Nemesis Returns

by 2010 HBFFL Champion Renal Failure

This is what happens when you fuck with Billy Cundiff...

Renal Failure welcomed Troi into the HBFFL with a pedestrian 91-81 victory. Chris Johnson was still looking to get his dominant form back, Tony Romo had a poor Monday night vs. the Redskins, and Brandon Lloyd still hasn't shown the brilliance that made him the WR with the most yards last year. However, LeSean McCoy continues to bring his A-Game and new addition Calvin "Megatron" Johnson has shown why he always get drafted in the first round of fantasy drafts.

But such a mediocre performance isn't going to stop Chris and his 3-0 Purple Drank squad. Purple Drank leads the HBFFL in scoring, and Renal Failure has a three-game losing streak against Chris going back to 2009 when La Machine brought an end to Renal Failure epic 9-game winning streak to start that season. That loss has not been avenged yet, and Renal Failure lives for revenge.

Only the best can serve with Renal Failure in our quest for revenge against Chris...

Purple Drank has some good matchups, like Matt Schaub vs. the Steelers, Ray Rice against a New York Jets defense that got embarrassed by Darren McFadden last week, and Michael Turner against the JV team known as the Seahawks. But Renal Failure has the hottest running back in the league in McCoy, no one stops Megatron, the Broncos are going to give more looks to Brandon Lloyd, CJ2K is primed to return to form, and Tony Romo is a fighter whose best receiving option is Jason Witten (and oh look, Witten's on the Renal Roster!). You can never count out your People's (and actual) Champions because we're unpredictable. You can't put us in a box. We transcend boxes.

Maru is the original transcender of boxes...

Yes, if LOBO and Chris win in Week 4, they get to have a battle of the undefeateds in Week 5, but that doesn't seem so interesting. Why is that? Oh wait, because RENAL FAILURE ALREADY DID THAT TWO YEARS AGO VS. CANUCKLEHEAD!

The People are expecting a hard-fought win by their champion Renal Failure, and Renal Failure delivers for the People.

And Renal Failure's quest to have a third Johnson on their team continues...


Chris C. said...

Four games in a row. Beat you twice in 2010, once in the championship, and once in 2009. The last time you beat me was week one 2009.

LOBO said...

"... and Renal Failure delivers for the People."

Like UPS? I'm not sure the transistor radio batteries I sent Unfinished Person are going to get to him before the games today.

-And on that subject, "What can brown do for you?" How did that slip by the execs of a multi-billion dollar company?

"I like the guy that draws on the dry erase board. But can you guys think of anything that will make people associate our services with a prolapsed anus ... ?"