Tuesday, November 3, 2009

Gentlemen!

Readers of the HBFFL blog may recall this particular quote from UnfinishedRambler's post last week regarding Renal Failure's quoting of Team Fortress 2 characters:

"If you're going to paraphrase that quote: "Be polite, be efficient..." then you need to be The Sniper, not The Scout, as you put in your earlier post."

And the Rambler had a point... how can someone be both the Scout and the Sniper? You can't... unless you're actually THE SPY!


WILD CARD, BITCHES!

Renal Failure (8-0) has breached the Ramblers defenses... you see what the People's Champion has done to the other teams in the league, and how he stabbed Rambler in the back with that trade in Week 6... and worst of all Renal Failure could be anyone in this room! It could be you. It could be me. Wait, it is me! Oh no! Too late! It's a 117-92 stab-fest victory for Renal Failure and your Toyota Week 8 Biggest Fantasy Football Blowout.

The lesson learned: Never underestimate Renal Failure, or pornography starring your mother will be the second-worst thing that happens to you that particular week.

Hmmm... a 25 point margin of victory... why, that's the same margin of points Stephen Jackson scored over Steve Slaton. This warrants a closer look at the biggest trade ever in the HBFFL. I mean, we've already stuck the knife in. Might as well twist it a few times.

The Ramblers didn't start the other two players they got from Renal Failure this week, though it wouldn't have mattered. WR Jerricho Cotchery and RB Tim Hightower were only 12 points better than Hakeem Nicks and Beanie Wells. And Renal Failure couldn't start the other people they got in the trade because WR Chad Ochocinco was on a bye this week and Derrick Ward had been released for a case of beer. So SJax alone outscored the three players he was traded for 26-13.

But if the trade never happened, Renal Failure likely would have started Slaton and Cotchery (instead of WR Percy Harvin and his 14 point day) and victory would have been in the Ramblers' hands. Furthermore, Rambler would still have Ochocinco for future weeks and the People's Champion would be cursing his lack of depth and production at WR, as well as watching one of his prized running backs being benched for fumbleitis.

So regarding Rambler's role in this deal...


Next on CSI: Mesopotamia...

At this time the Great One would like to thank the Unfinished One for his graciousness and for keeping our undefeated season going... but Rambler is a Yankees fan so we'll hold off on that, for The People's Champion supports the World Fucking Champions.

---Renal Failure is not the president of your fan club.

3 comments:

Chris C said...

Make your time...

Unfinished Rambler said...

Uh oh, that sounds like a threat, RF...

...as for me, I've really taken this hard as you've noted on FB. I have possibly the swine flu. It's a lot harder than I thought I'd take it as you said, but it must be my body's way of rejecting the disease that is you. :)

renalfailure said...

Playing against Renal Failure can be hazardous to your health.

I made some time for you, Chris. Remember? Back in Week One.