When you play La Machine in the HBFFL Championship you are down with the king of fantasy football...
By down I mean Renal Failure going down. In flames even.
Yeah like that.
Most fantasy team owners would be afraid of Renal Failure's scary lineup, with Rivers, S-Jax, MJD, Dallas Freakin' Clark, and Hines Ward. It's like Frankenstein, Wolfman, and Dracula all being in the same monster movie.
Yeah, that scary.
But I am not afraid. I've got my own scary movie in McNabb, Rice, The Johnson known as Andre, and Welker. And let's not forget Ryan Grant who is quietly finishing a top-ten RB season.
And of course there is my secret weapon. The final one, saved for the most important and final game of the 2009 HBFFL season is none other then...
Yes, that's right frigging Superman! I know, right now you are thinking "how does Superman help a fantasy football team?"
You must have forgotten one of the Man of Steel's lesser-used powers: the ability to reverse time.
In the first film, after Lois was killed by an earthquake caused by Lex Luthor, Superman flew around the Earth like crazy and reversed it's rotation.
I'll make that fucker fly around the planet a million times until I get the outcome that will fulfill my destiny: a championship win.
So good luck Renal Failure. You will need it.
Chris Cameron is a co-writer and the editor of the HBFFL humor blog. He also writes his own brand of odd humor at Angry Seafood.