Sunday, November 21, 2010

The People vs. LOBO

by Renal Failure

We've put our best legal minds on this issue of Ines Sainz's ass...

Ladies and gentlemen of this alleged jury. You've heard some fancy words from LOBO about why he also should be allowed to invoke the power of Ines Sainz's ass, something that Renal Failure has been doing for the past four weeks. But these supposed claims from this supposed LOBO don't hold up under any sort of scrutiny.

First, our other attorney would like to put his objection of LOBO's claims on the official record. He would post it directly here, but the HBFFL blog is full of unsavory characters who would get him disbarred should the authorities find him associating with them (we're looking at you, Rambler).

Exhibit A in the People's Case against LOBO... "A" as in "ass."

EXHIBIT B: In September the Ines Sainz locker room story broke, resulting in Bex's only post for the HBFFL blog, one post from Chris C. reminding us that Sainz could have done worse with a drunk Joe Namath, and two posts on the subject by LOBO. But after that, nothing from anyone on Ines Sainz until Week 8 when your People's Champion Renal Failure jettisoned the advice of Ninja Vicki and Samurai Cathy for the glorious oracle that is Ines Sainz's ass. And since we've made that move, Renal Failure has gone 4-0, thus resurrecting the People's 2010 Season.

Ninja Vicki and Samurai Cathy suggest to LOBO that those who own paragons of virtue Ben Roethlisberger, Michael Vick, and Santonio Holmes on their fantasy teams should not cast stones.

So LOBO sees the success the People are having with Ines Sainz and wants to get in on the hot, sexy action too, so he starts adding her ass to his posts as well. Clearly LOBO is clearly guilty of bandwagon-jumping, dick-riding, and high hipsterism. And arson. Yet still LOBO claims to be the victim - nay, the plaintiff - in this case, even though it is the People who have victimized by LOBO wanting a piece of our Ines Sainz action.

The part of LOBO will be played by Will.I.Am and Thugnificient...

EXHIBIT C: LOBO says we are compromising the integrity of Ines Sainz journalistic integrity with our appropriation of Sainz's ass for the People's use, but if you checked out his second post in September about Ines Sainz he strips of her journalist title and calls her an entertainer.

And I quote from LOBO: "The more I think about this Inez Sainz thing, the more annoyed I get. It really illustrates the difference between “Journalists” and “Entertainers” nicely: "Journalists" don’t become The Story."

What is she this week, LOBO?

What LOBO didn't tell you about the bong he found in our possession was that the last time it was used his starting fantasy QB Michael Vick was still killing dogs...

So readers of the HBFFL blog, we ask that you see LOBO's claim for what we've clearly exposed it as: the desperate act of a fantasy owner trying to sneak his ass into the playoffs at the expense of the much more beloved Renal Failure by way of Ines Sainz's ass, an ass he had discarded back in Week Two. In the words of Sir Mix-a-Lot in the case of Little in the Middle v. But She Got Much Back, when it comes to Ines Sainz's ass LOBO did indeed toss it and leave it, and we pulled up quick to retrieve it.

The People know you will make the right choice.

And if we see you on our block again, LOBO...

Renal Failure puts the "gat" in litigation, because we love doing that John Woo two gun thing. And then the doves start flying.

1 comment:

Unfinished Rambler said...

Dick-riding? Wow. You're getting pretty mean there, aren't you? ;)