Thursday, November 11, 2010

Week 10 Preview: Renal Failure vs. Absentee Static

by Renal Failure

When your opponent is a deadbeat owner, you need to bring out the most powerful metal you can find to get hyped for another week of fantasy football.

It's Week 10 and the People's Champion known as Renal Failure gets to face Team Krapsody again. The last time these two team met, Renal Failure won 95-59 and Static was still interested in updating his lineup. A lot has changed since then as Static has pretty much given up on the season for reasons we don't know and don't care about while Renal Failure has toiled endlessly to turn around a disastrous half of the 2010 season to become, arguably, the most dangerous team in the HBFFL.

Sure, Tom Brady has been disappointing the last few weeks, but only the foolish underestimate the man who invented throwing bears into outer space. This man's career is based on getting revenge on the people who underestimated him. That's why he bangs Gisele Bundchen, because someone said he couldn't. We can't bring ourselves to bench him because you never know. Tennessee didn't know last year, and then BAM! 60 point day. The first bear in orbit since the Soviet Union shot a whole bunch of animals into space. Why did they do that? Because someone said they couldn't.

Cosmonaut doggie brought much pride and honor to the proletariat.

Now that that People have replenished their RB corps with Peyton Hillis and Brandon Jackson to complement Chris Johnson, the People now have the depth at RB that they thought they had when the year began with Ryan Grant, Pierre Thomas, and Clinton Portis before the three of them went down to injury.

And the People's WR collective is the envy of the league. Brandon Lloyd is a 100-yard game machine, Mike Williams of Tampa Bay has shown why Seattle's Mike Williams is known as "the other Mike Williams," Dwayne Bowe's been hot lately, and Hines Ward has veteran dependability. Chad Ochocinco is an emergency option, and Sidney Rice looks to be coming back for the last stretch of the season to provide yet another viable option at WR.

Ines Sainz only knows one thing... it is better to be Ines Sainz. Is Static Ines Sainz? No, he not. Neither is Scott Baio Ines Sainz.

With Static not taking out injured Joseph Addai, bye week Antonio Gates, and bye week Garrett Hartley, we're looking at another Renal Failure victory here. When you don't switch out three starters from your lineup, it's pretty much a forfeit, so we'll forgo the usual insights on the match-up and just rely on the blogger's crutch: that being internet videos.

When getting back to a .500 record, it's important to be well lubricated.

Renal Failure won in all four of our leagues last week. First time all season we've done that.


Chris C said...

Nobody has a better 1-2 WR combo then La Machine.

Roddy White and Terrell Owens. Nasty.

renalfailure said...

Then the quality drops off to Braylon Edwards and the injured Kenny Britt.

Chris C said...

If only average quality of depth counted in the box score. :)

I'll take the #1 and #3 WR in yards (along with both being tied #4 in TD's with seven each- two off the lead) and a crappy bench any time.

Roll the dice baby! No need to worry about which 2 out of 4 WR's I should start. :)