Saturday, November 20, 2010

Trench Run


MOTION TO DECLARE the Use of Ines Sainz Butt
for Religious Purposes Cool BY LAW Because Last Time I

WHERAS my esteemed colleague Renal Failure has objected to the my invocation of the Butt of Ines Sainz, I would like Yours Honor Truly to tell him to cram it.

EVIDENSE: This season, Renal Failure and Predator Press seem to be mirroring each other: both teams have underperformed thus far, and both seem destined to slug it out for the last position in the Finals. It should be no surprise my esteemed colleague RF objected to my invocation of one Ines Sainz butt image.

But YOURS HONOR TRULY, is the much-ballyhooed butt of Ines Sainz but his alone to invoke? I, the PLAINTIFF, studied my monitor closely, but did not observe the DEFENDANT'S name on it. And when I broke into his house yesterday, I saw none of Ines Sainz' pants in the closet. I did find his fingerprints on an 8.5”-10” glossy of her butt on his nightstand –right next to a Victoria’s Secret catalog with the pages strangely stuck together.  But does this make RF’s claim legitimate? I mean if possession is 9/10ths of the law, punching your monkey on something has got to be, like, 15/10ths, right?

Just like everybody else, Ines Sainz spray paints her pants on one leg at a time: my wife, between obscenities, was early and often to point out that Intellectual Rights and Ownership Claims over Ines Sainz’ butt are open to some degree of interpretation.

I submit that Ines Sainz butt is intended for all to enjoy. And we cannot just stand by as Renal Failure covets –and inevitably compromises- the journalistic integrity of Ines Sainz, nor the potential joy and hope her butt might bring us all ... I, an American citizen, cannot stand idly by in the face of such Communism and flagrant tax violations!  I expect numerous torts, motions, warrants, and contunuances filed on behalf of my plaintiffing.

I also found a bong in RF’s attic.

1 comment:

Anonymous said...

I think we need some other pictures of her butt for further evidence. A thong picture would be very compelling.