Thursday, September 16, 2010

Elephants have BIG trunks (and other things I learned in Kindergarten)

I am a pretty big deal. I didn’t know if you knew that or not. I am Bex and (once in a blue moon) I write the Blog of Bex. But that’s not why I’m a big deal. No, I’m a big deal because I have boobs. Boobs are awesome. Ask anybody. Another person with boobs is Ines Sainz. Do y’all know her? She’s a television reporter with TV Azteca. She’s been in the news lately because of some shenanigans that went on during and after the Monday night NFL game.

I read in the news that she was embarrassed. When I first heard this I wondered if maybe she wasn’t embarrassed by the ridiculous programming on TV Azteca. I mean seriously…have you ever seen one of their insane talk shows? Schmaltzy host? Check! Mostly naked ladies jiggling around the set to sudden bursts of funky music? Check!! Designated buffoon who overacts every scene as if his very life depends upon it? Oh yeah, they’ve got that, too. And don’t even get me started about the soap operas.

But no, she’s embarrassed because she went purposefully into a professional football teams’ locker room and, apparently, got an eyeful. Wha…?!! For chrissakes. What kind of moron goes into a locker room and then “dies of embarrassment” when she sees what she sees?!

Let’s roll down the facts, shall we??

  • The Jets are a football team.
  • The team is made up of male players.
  • Men have penises.
  • Judging by the tightness of their pants, some of them are probably quite large.

She should probably write them a thank you note.

But, in this crazy era when some douche bag pours a cup of hot coffee into her own lap and is successful in suing the company that sold her that cruel java weapon, the Jets are probably fuqued. I love how she stated that she tried not to look anywhere. As my homie Yoda once said, “Do or do not. There is no try.” But Sister, for real. It is in poor taste to take a gander at some dudes wedding tackle and then later complain that you were embarrassed by what you looked at.

PS Unlike you guys, I had no idea who she is. So I googled her. Now I know what I'm going to wear the next time I want to really be taken seriously at work:


renalfailure said...

From now on, all my news must come from Inez Sainz.

Bex said...

No kidding. She's muy caliente. And as long as you don't flash her your junk, I think you'll be fine.

LOBO said...

This is really well said. It illustrates the difference between a “Journalist” and an “Entertainer” nicely: Journalists don’t become the story.

And thusly stripped of any semblance of “journalism,” I’m almost offended at Sainz being offended. They didn’t sneak into her bedroom, build a locker room around it, and then stuff it with crude naked guys while she was sleeping. She went in under her own power.

-disguised as a jounalist.