Saturday, September 4, 2010

It is a Conspiracy I Tell Ya

There is a conspiracy against La Machine. There are sordid characters involved in nefarious works for the sole purpose of thwarting the defense of my crown. It might take me all season to prove it, but I plan to root out those forces trying to stop me, one by one.

I begin with the first pieces of evidence.

Exhibit A

Exhibit B

On the left are the changes I made. On the right is what the "computer" decided to rank my players, against my wishes mind you. I should have gotten Ryan Grant and Steve Smith (Carolina version) but received Cedric Benson and Sydney Rice instead.

Very odd.

Then we have the draft results. 

Let us start at quarterback. We have Matt Schaub who is either a Peyton Manning-like scoring machine or a Chris Chandler-like glass QB. Backing him up is Alex Smith. I would have never have chosen either player.

At running back we have Ray Rice returning from 2009, along with one of two of my red-headed step children the computer picked for me: Cedric Benson. Backing them up are LeSean McCoy, who could be a breakout player, and Reggie Bush. Would have been Rice, Grant, McCoy, and someone else.

The wideouts this season are Roddy White, Syndey Rice (the other step-child), Terrell Owens, and Lee Evans. White and The Carolina Steve Smith would have made a nice combo and I did not choose Rice.

Tight end is a mini-M.A.S.H. unit in Owen Daniels and Jeremy Shockey. The former is coming off a big injury and has just started practicing, the latter is always one play from going on the DL. I did target Shockey in the last couple rounds.

Rounding out the team is the Dallas defense and kicker Gostowski from New England.

Clearly, my team was being chosen for me. But the picks were too odd and offbeat, while also ignoring my own rankings. It could not be a human.

There was only one conclusion I could come up with....

Yes, it was Hal freaking 9000. He conspired to thwart my draft. He had the ability and the motivation.

But he is not the only one.

And we have no idea how far-reaching and how deep the corruption goes. We have only begun the trip down the rabbit hole.


renalfailure said...

You can't blame it all on me, I only took Ryan Grant from your wishlist. Don snatched Steve Smith from you. Are we all in on it? Or can we blame it all on Static taking Danny Woodhead in the third round, throwing a chaotic element into everyone's autodraft?

LOBO said...

Stop beating up on Static.

-This could be Woodhead's breakout year!

LOBO said...

What's the beef with C Benson, BTW? I wanted him, but only if I could have scored him as a backup ... and the way he was ranked at Yahoo, there was little hope for that ...

Unfinished Rambler said...

I think all of this is an argument for having a LIVE draft next year...and yes, with the upper-case letters too. It's that IMPORTANT. ;)

No, but seriously!

LOBO said...

You should add the "mock draft" and "Yahoo autodraft" tags to this post ...