Wednesday, November 23, 2011

Silly Symmetry Setback Sucks

There's just something about symmetry that is so soothing. It's like coming full circle. It adds balance and appropriate proportion to one's life...and usually to one's game. You know, like from Rocky Horror Picture Show: "Don't dream it, be it"? Well, no more will the nonames set their sites on symmetry. Why? Because the nonames had a disastrous week because of symmetry. And how did I react to the resulting loss to Unfinished Person?


Now Unfinished Person's a wonderful guy. Top shelf kinda fellow. (Heh, little library joke there.) In fact, he reached out to me in the pre-season and recommended me as a participant in this fantasy league. Probably because he wanted someone to beat. Well, this weekend that prophecy came true as he squeezed out a 72-68 victory over us.

My troubles started Thursday night when, after scoring 1 point, Jet's Shonn Greene was yanked from the game after suffering a 1st quarter injury. He'd been projected to provide 12 fantasy points.

Then, after a sub-par 28 point performance that Mr. Rodgers phoned in, I was still in good shape to face down Unfinished Person's New England Kicker Stephen Gostkowki Monday night with my NE WR Deion Branch. I was confident his projected 8 points would be more than enough to stomp over Unfinished Person and secure a spot in the playoffs.

Now here's where the frakin' symmetry bit my ass. Branch suffered an injury early in the game and was pulled guessed it: 1 point.

Even the Belichick "mind-meld" couldn't
return Branch to the game.

Just to go back to Mr. Rodgers for a moment, he fell one yard shy of a 5-point bonus 300 passing yards. 5 points. What was the margin of UP's win? 4 points. Damn.

Oh hell yes, mofo.

Looking to Week 12 Mr. Rodgers is sure to have a beautiful day in the Detroit neighbourhood Thursday, for which I'll be giving thanks. And our kooky Canadian strategy of having Nickelback play at half time is sure to upset Detroit's defence. After all, how offensive can you get?

So, we'll regroup after 2 losses in a row, consider this week's match-up with the Bourbon Blasters, tied with me for fourth - I'm technically 5th but tied for fourth sounds so much better - and rethink our dedication to symmetry.

Frak me.


Anonymous said...

Top shelf? I could be a bartender too. ;) I'd be making myself a celebratory drink...if that was the case, though.

However, seriously, you're right. I got you over here so I could kick your Canadian ass...just once. ;) Playoffs schmayoffs. Whatevs.

nonamedufus said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
nonamedufus said...

I have to remind you that I took you to the cleaners in my 129-92 win over you in Week 2.

Last week's rematch takes place in the FTWL this week. I would appear to be the favourite.

I'm not going to tell you the result of our previous match up in that league.