Thursday, November 10, 2011

Week 10: Another Loss? Time to Hit the Bottle

by 2010 HBFFL Champion Renal Failure

Fantasy Football is hard... why's it gotta be so hard?

LOBO got his revenge for losing to us in last year's championship game with the biggest blow out of Week 9, 142-89. Julio Jones threw a 35-point bear into orbit, Ben Roethlisberger took 24 points and a frightened co-ed into a night club restroom, and Arian Foster blew up for 25 points. Renal Failure was missing Megatron on a bye week, but it wouldn't have mattered. CJ2K is slowly improving, getting a 10-point day. Jason Witten over-performed with 13 points. Shady McCoy underperformed with 17 points. Tony Romo and Brandon Lloyd got exactly what they were projected for with 22 and 8 respectively.

Note: Our experiment of picking whatever defense was playing against Tim Tebow failed, as Oakland didn't do shit against

This shoves Renal Failure into sole possession of 5th place in the HBFFL at 5-4, two games behind 1st place Predator Press and one game behind the 6-3 logjam of Purple Drank, NoNames, and Bourbon Blasters. So your People's Champ is on the outside looking in, but is still poised to make a run for the playoffs.

Do not try to run game on Renal Failure...

So Bourbon Blasters is back on the Renal Failure docket. Week One saw Joe's squad beat us 122-106, most of those points coming from Wes Welker throwing a 35-point bear into space, but that was before we had Megatron on the Renal Roster. True, Joe's now coming at us with Antonio Gates rather than Jermichael Finley at TE, but that's a slighter upgrade than our switching out Mario Manningham for Mighty Megatron.

Both squads are clear of any bye week absences, so it's going to be a pure battle of lineup strength. Yahoo! says Renal Failure wins 103-96, the bulk of Renal Failure's score from Shady McCoy's 27-projected points against a weak Arizona Cardinals team. Much of Joe's score is predicated on Drew Brees' 28-projected points vs. Atlanta. We're thinking McCoy has a better chance of hitting 27pts than Brees as the Eagles are going to be looking to slap around someone after their embarrassing loss to Chicago last Monday.

The Nozzle is calibrating our team to beat Joe's Bourbon Blasters... please remain still...

Joe's RB corps is facing an uphill battle. SJax is going against a tough Cleveland run defense, and if Arizona falls behind early to Philly Beanie Wells won't be seeing a lot of runs. They may do worse than the slowly improving CJ2K. Dwayne Bowe will probably get his 11 and more against Denver, but Welker is likely to be put on Reavis Island in Week 10. For Renal Failure Tony Romo has been a steady performer, Jason Witten overperforms, and Billy Cundiff is still Billy Fucking Cundiff. This might not be a good week for Joe.

Another Renal Failure loss puts the playoffs in jeopardy. The way things are going, 8 wins are not going to be enough to get in, and 9 might not cut it either.

Renal Failure is the defending 2010 HBFFL champion, the defending 2010 FTWL champion, and The People's Champion. We were going to watch Sunday's games over at Joe Paterno's house, but we get the feeling he's not going to be in the mood for taco dip.


LOBO said...

Loved ALL of these uTubes -Metalocolyse is the only decent thing on television, "the Nozzle" was hilarious, and that My Little Pony thing was so disturbing I had to love it. (Retro BTW, "Hobo With a Gun" is definitely on my radar as a Must-See now too.)

Take solace in the asswhippings I'm facing from here on out, my friend. As Chris would say, it's all house money now. I think I'm making the playoffs (I just typoed "playodds" lol) ... but while the Preds' spirit is willing, the flesh is spongy and bruised.

LOBO said...

!!!LOVE the Wu Tang!!!

If I remember correctly, I've got your permission to use the "De-Meater" uTube.

-But you've really been outdoing yourself lately.

I think I'm going to secretly retire, and just rebroadcast RF uTube findings ...