So, it's the third week of the season, your team is 0-3 and your squad is the football version of a M.A.S.H. unit. Things do not look good.
Can you go on an improbable 9-1 run and make the playoffs?
Nope. But you can do a few things to make the best of it.
Enhance your trash talk with some spin on your record
If you are 3-0 it is easy to bust your fellow owners' balls about how awesome your team is. 0-3 not so much. So you gotta get creative and put some positive spin on your abysmal showing to date. How about something like this:
"My team is technically 0-3 but it really is 3-0. The players I started were the right plays but the stats just didn't work out this time."
Those two sentences alone make your team sound more bad ass than it really is and elevates the trash talk to hypothetical situations, of which there is no escape for your fellow owners. You could argue all day in that arena and never lose.
Pick up players with really cool names
If you can't have players that produce you can at least have ones with funny names. And there are many to choose from, including: Owen Marecec, Rock Cartwright, Naufahu Tahi, Ovie Mughelli, and Madison Hedgecock.
You can also make corny jokes like "my team is gonna win because I'm riding on the Owen Marecec express."
Become a sanctuary for wayward players
Even Terrell Owens needs a home. Won't you give up that second defense so Terrell can have a warm bed and a place to play at an uninspiring level?
See how easy it is to make the best of your awful fantasy football season?
You got any ideas of your own? Leave them in the comments below.