Wednesday, September 14, 2011

We Miss Tom Brady

by 2010 HBFFL Champion Renal Failure

The inventor of throwing bears into space... who if he was on our team would have greatly mitigated Wes Welker's big day against us...

Your Champion Renal Failure no longer has the pressure of trying to go undefeated this season, as they dropped their first game of the season to the Bourbon Blasters 122-106.

Much of Joe's victory can be attributed to Drew Brees' 37-point and Wes Welker's 35-point bear-in-orbit days, supplemented by Beanie Wells' 16-points. The day could have been worse if Steven Jackson didn't hurt himself after the first carry in his game vs. the Eagles.

Renal Failure's day was highlighted by LeSean McCoy's 32-point bear, supplemented by decent days by Tony Romo (27 points) and Jason Witten (16 points, which is really good for a TE). Even Billy Cundiff beat his projected score with a 9-point day. But the other members of the Renal Roster didn't show up. Chris Johnson was working off the rust of holding out for all of training camp with a paltry 6 points. Mario Manningham only managed 4. We also expected more out top-scoring WR of 2011 Brandon Lloyd, who got a decent 8 points before leaving with an injury.

Okay, he had a bad Week One, but he'll be gold when Week 14 rolls around... and hopefully we'll be in the playoffs so it will matter...

So your People's Champ didn't start off the year so well. Not a problem. We didn't start off last year too well either (going 2-5) and we turned it around to not only make the playoffs but win the championship. We put up 106 points, which would have beaten 6 out of the 9 teams in the HBFFL who aren't Renal Failure, so there's a good scoring foundation on this team. Romo is no Brady, but he's serviceable. Witten has us solid at the TE position. The RB corps is solid. All right, so we have some WR scoring issues, but that's a perennial issue for us and we usually fix it either through the waiver wire or trades. The season's not a wash... yet.

Losing still hurts... no matter how much we tell ourselves otherwise...

We get another shot at Joe and his Bourbon Blasters in Week 10, and Renal Failure is known for dominating revenge games (except for ones against Chris, but we'll fix that). But we'll worry about in nine weeks. For Week Two we get Multiple Scorgasms, headed by HBFFL newbie Mark. We need to welcome him to the HBFFL in the most HBFFL way possible: with a savage beatdown from the most dangerous franchise of the HBFFL, better known as Renal Failure.

1 comment:

Chris C said...

"and Renal Failure is known for dominating revenge games (except for ones against Chris, but we'll fix that)"

I'll be waiting and ready.