Sunday, September 4, 2011

The People's Draft 2011 - WE'LL DO IT LIVE!!!

by 2010 HBFFL Champion Renal Failure

This first-ever HBFFL Live Draft is over, and the Defending League Champion and People's Champion Renal Failure has loaded up their roster with another championship-caliber roster. Let's review Live Draft 2011...

First Round
Given the third pick overall, Renal Failure snatched up RB Chris Johnson for another season. Last year CJohnson was on our roster as the number one pick overall in the 2010 draft. Yes, he held out all of training camp, but he'll be good to go for the season, especially late in the season when we'll need him most.

Second Round
18th pick overall - RB LeSean McCoy. Shady is a busy man in the Eagles offense, so he'll have a lot of chances to rack up points for the People's Champion.

Actually Renal Failure drafted Ines Sainz's superior posterior with our first pick, but Yahoo! didn't have her ass on their draft board so we had to go with Chris Johnson...

Third Round
23rd overall - QB Tony Romo. He missed most of last year with an injury but before he went down he was lighting it up, so we expect a huge comeback year for Romo (even though we on the Failure hate the Cowboys).

Fourth Round
38th overall - TE Jason Witten. The 2nd highest scoring TE of 2010 makes his way back to the Renal Roster to give us stability in the always tricky Tight End spot. We almost took him in the third round, nervous that he wouldn't be there in 15 picks. But we needed a QB and took our chances.

Fifth Round
43rd overall - WR Brandon Lloyd. We picked him from free agency obscurity last season and watched him become the number one scoring wide-out of 2010. We'll see if he can do it again in 2011.

Brandon Lloyd also made it onto the rosters of two other Renal Failure-managed fantasy teams in other leagues. It's like we're the only ones who respect the leading scoring receiver of 2010...

Sixth & Seventh Rounds
RB DeAngelo Williams and RB Marshawn Lynch. Renal Failure loves stocking up on running backs, so we got ourselves some depth/trade bait with these two picks. Carolina and Seattle both have bottom tier quarterbacks, so they will depend a lot of running the ball, which means big opportunities for these two backs.

Eighth & Ninth Rounds
WR Mario Manningham & RB Fred Jackson. We needed another WR and were fortunate that Manningham fell so far down for us to take. His 2010 were decent and should improve now that Steve Smith is in Philly. With Fred Jackson, we were surprised to see him fall down that far that we couldn't pass on taking him and leaving no doubt that we've got the deepest RB corps in the HBFFL.

The Renal Failure Running Back Hydra has returned.... take warning!

Tenth, Eleventh, & Twelfth Rounds
WR Sidney Rice, WR Malcolm Floyd, New York Giants DEF. After stocking up on RB's we needed to get some wide-outs on our bench. Someone has to catch the ball in Seattle, might as well be Sidney Rice. Malcolm Floyd is a favorite target of Philip Rivers. As for the New York Giants Defense, we're blaming that on our internet connection crapping out on us during our pick, thus invoking an auto-pick.

Thirteenth, Fourteenth, Fifteenth, and Sixteenth Rounds
QB Mark Sanchez, WR Johnny Knox, TE Brent Celek, and K Billy Cundiff. Sanchez will do fine as our backup QB. He's serviceable and will be looking to have a huge game in Week 5 vs. New England when Romo is on his bye week. Knox should be Jay Cutler's number one target in Chicago. We wanted to get Lance Kendricks for our backup TE position, but his bye week is the same as Witten's so we went with Celek, who has been a serviceable TE for years. And our last pick punched our ticket to the championship because Billy Fucking Cundiff is the man when it comes to kickers.

Billy Cundiff taught Chuck Norris how to kick... and how to make love to a woman...

There were a few disappointments in the draft. Romo wasn't our first choice for QB (Philip Rivers or Tom Brady were) but we're okay with getting him where we did. Also we were holding out hope that Maurice Jones-Drew would have fell to us in the second round so we could revive our feared backfield from the 2008 season, but that didn't work out for us. We also wanted either Sam Bradford or Matt Stafford as our backup QB to see if they'd develop into strong arms (aka trade bait). We're not worried about our wide-outs, considering our best WR moves were done in free agency rather than the draft. Besides, we can always trade one of our RB's for some WR help later in the season. Renal Failure's always looking to deal.

See you in the playoffs, honkeys!

Renal Failure is the defending 2010 champion of the HBFFL. He gives no quarter, because all his currency is in gold bullion.


nonamedufus said...

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

LOBO said...

While not conciliatory, I'm feeling a little lackluster this year in both leagues.

This one in particular: the RBs didn't fall right for me, and I went WR heavy against my judgement.

But while Hillis and McFadden weren't what I was hoping for, they're not exactly chumps either. And I "accidentally" ended up with a pretty impressive wideout lineup.

Maybe they will surprise me ...

Chris C said...

"...leaving no doubt that we've got the deepest RB corps in the HBFFL."

If the league did not include my team you would. Rice, Turner, Blount > CJ2K, McCoy, Lynch.

LOBO said...

It's not all that bad. Maybe there is a fantasy football version of postpartum depression.

You know. You wait all that time, the psychological tension is all ramped up -and then POW it's over: you got a crappy kid that likes soccer, Newt Gingrich an showtunes ...

LOBO said...

While I didn't have any particularly good reason, I did avoid drafting the Manning brothers based on a simple "gut feeling." But I just noticed the Canuck took both of them, and now Peyton Manning looks pretty sketchy injury-wise. It almost seems like we can finish a draft, count to ten backwards, and by then his star player has imploded.

But is there a 'Curse of the Canuck?' Remember Brady was his #1 pick in 2008 (I think?). 1, coincidentally, is also the number of minutes Brady lasted during that season. While I don't think this is nearly the fatal blow he was dealt that year, the numerology is as indisputable as it is frightening.

NFL players have a tendency to be somewhat wealthy: with proper representation [hint hint], Canuck could probably rake in a lot of cash from players that would prefer to be on his "Do Not Draft" list.

LOBO said...

PS: Sorry ... the deleted posts are mine, and I think only Chris can remove them entirely (should he have the inclination).

-Writing dubiously "coherent" thoughts is difficult enough for me, but trying to do it through a painkiller fog adds a whole new level of complication.

Chris C said...

"But is there a 'Curse of the Canuck?'"

I just published a post on that very subject. :)

unfinishedperson said...

Glad I snatched MJD from your evil clutches. :) However, I give you mad props for your evilness for picking up CJ2K early. Nice pick.