Thursday, October 25, 2012

The People's Week 8: Shaun Suisham is the MVP of 2012

by the People's Champion Renal Failure

We're at the halfway point of the 2012 season, and the People are very ambivalent about where we stand so far in the HBFFL.  We're 3-4 this season, which is better than the 2-5 we were at after seven weeks in 2010, but worse than the 4-3 we were last year.  At this point in 2011 we had scored an impressive 718 points, but this year we're 2nd-to-last in scoring with 592 points. Yes, we won our Week 7 game vs. Bald Spots 76-74, but we barely held on to win when Megatron shat the bed and only got 3 points (on top of Kyle Randolph's goose-egg for the Vikings).  And we only had that lead because of Shaun Suisham's 10-point game Sunday night. It is Renal Failure tradition to get lots of points from the kicker position, but it's not a good sign for your fantasy team when your kicker is your most dependable player.  

It used to be a game with Bald Spots was a game that was sure to be full of bloodshed and bears in orbit. Now look at us.  Scrapping for meager points and trying not to be in last place. What kind of world are we living in?  Sure, RGIII got 25 big points but he was projected for 27 and really should have had more if he didn't do his Michael Vick impression by throwing an pick, losing a fumble, and betting on wrong pitbull in the deathmatch in his basement (Andrew Luck gets 2 rushing TD's?  Andrew Luck?). Trent Richardson was supposed to have a big day against the Colts but couldn't play through the rib injury he suffered last week.

But we are too swag to cry... because our Josh Gordon pickup got us 11 points...

The People feel a little better upon seeing Fred Jackson's 17 points while splitting time with CJ Spiller.  With Trent Richardson questionable, we might just start both Bills RB's and settle for steady middle-of-the-road points rather than intermittent bear-launches we've come to expect from our RB's.  And Josh Gordon looks to be a steady performer at WR, which is better than we can say for our other WR's who didn't play this week because of the bye (or in Greg Jennings' case, his perpetually injured groin).  This means, however, we'll be depending a lot on our QB's, specifically RGIII who we're thinking has a bigger upside than the man who invented throwing bears into outer space Tom Brady (only 20pts vs. the Jets? Come on man!).

The top of the league sits at 5-2 (Delusions of Adequacy, Purple Drank, and Predator Press).  Then there's Unfinished Person at 4-3, then a log jam at 3-4 between NoNames, Bourbon Blasters, What the Canuck?, Future Ex-Cons, and us (who are ranked 9th because of our pitiful points for total).  9 wins usually gets a team into the playoffs, so we need to go 5-2 to have a chance.  And to have a better chance, we need to start putting up triple-digit points on a regular basis to clear ourselves from any potential tiebreakers.  Of course, things become much easier if we just go 7-0... we should just do that.

Time to get motivated, people!  Time to take back the streets... and by streets we mean hopefully choose the players who score enough fantasy points so that we win our games...

Joe's Bourbon Blasters are our Week 8 opponent, and historically we have not done well against Joe, even when he's pretending to be a woman.  So that is why we're bringing back Our Lady of Tight Denim Victory Ines Sainz as our good luck charm so that we may be granted yet another monster 2nd half of the season, despite not having the usual elements that make such a run possible. And we're going to need as much help as we can get because both Fred Jackson and CJ Spiller are on bye weeks, as is Owen Daniels at TE who is outperforming Jason Witten. We may have to go three WR with DJax, Dwayne Bowe, and Josh Gordon while still starting a questionable Trent Richardson at RB because our other backup RB BenJarvus Green-Ellis is also on a bye week.  No, we're not putting in Jonathan Stewart. That's just silly.

Joe doesn't have any bye week issues, save for his kicker.  But Frank Gore has a tough match-up vs. Arizona, as does Shonn Greene vs. Miami.  Joe could always use Felix Jones at RB, if he forgot who Felix Jones was.  Drew Brees will continue to be Drew Brees, and Percy Harvin and Jordy Nelson have racked up big numbers all season. Jimmy Graham is coming off an injury and may not be as productive, but having a team's weak spot be their TE position is never a comfort to the opposition.

Your People's Champ isn't projected to win, but if we want to have a chance to make it four straight years in the Humor Bowl we need to start racking up wins now. Ines Sainz, we're counting on you and your perfect denim ass to bring the People victory!

Renal Failure is The Wild Card of Fantasy Football, The People's Champion, and the only team to win the HBFFL and FTWL championships in the same year. We scored more points in all our other leagues in Week 7 but lost all of those games. Fantasy Football is a harsh mistress...who may be dyslexic.

1 comment:

LOBO said...

Paying attention to the kicker position has gotten me out of some squeakers this year too.

I just can't seem to unlock the da Vinci code to the DEF position.