Thursday, October 11, 2012

The People's Week 6: Everybody Hurts, Especially If We're Starting Them

by the People's Champion of Fantasy Football Renal Failure

Star players on the Renal Roster tend not to last very long in their games this season...

Chris got his revenge on us, but he got it because our chief bear-thrower in-resident RGIII left the Redskins' game vs. Atlanta early with a concussion.  We lost in Week 1 when Fred Jackson went down. We lost in Week 3 when CJ Spiller got injured. And now Week 5 sees us lose 76-64 when RGIII got hurt.  The People do not like this pattern one bit. At least we didn't start Greg Jennings in Week Four when he re-aggravated his groin injury. 1-4 is much worse than 2-3.

Side note: And this is totally messing with RGIII's trade value, unless everyone in the league has concluded that no one should trade with Renal Failure ever.  Our ability to make awesome trades is a major part of our late-season heroics.

What the People don't like even more is anemic weeks from Dwayne Bowe (6pts), Fred Jackson (2pts), and DeSean Jackson (5pts).  Come on, guys! Shaun Suisham got 10pts and was the most interesting thing in that Steelers/Eagles game (beside wondering why Michael Vick's hands were allergic to the football).  At least Trent Richardson tried to keep things close with his solid 18-point day vs. the Giants and Owen Daniels cut into Matt Schaub's point-total at 13pts.  Even Tom Brady underperformed on our bench (21pts) and he was supposed to be in a classic shootout vs. Peyton Manning.  When it rains, it pours razor blades.

Adversity, we know you all too well in Fantasy Football, so here's a cheerful affirmation to keep the People's spirits up...

Chris was right about Tony Gonzalez blowing up, but we were right about Chris Johnson continuing to suck, and Chris Johnson sucking will happen more often than Tony Gonzalez throwing bears into space so... yeah, think about that, Purple Drank! Your depth at running back is bad and you should feel bad!

The People have reason to be concerned going forward, though. Matt Cassel's injury has a chance of eating into Dwayne Bowe's prolific garbage time production (am I to put my trust in Brady Quinn?). Greg Jennings is still out with groin issues.  Our backup plan for a WR crisis was Danny Amendola until he injured himself for the next month. We had been hoping for Ryan Williams to bloom as running back in Arizona to give us some more depth/trade bait, but then his season ended on Thursday night. Then there's Fred Jackson and CJ Spiller being on the Bills...

We have been getting fucked this season by way too many unknown unknowns...

But what we do know is that Week 6 gives us our revenge rematch game vs. Predator Press - who beat us in the championship game when our QB Tony Romo fell to injury in the first quarter of Week 16.  He whooped up on Unfinished Person this past week and is riding high with a solid lineup.  Larry Fitzgerald (the People's MVP back in 2008) and Brandon Marshall are always a threat for big WR points. Jamaal Charles will see more runs with Matt Cassel out.  And Matty Ice knows how to sling the rock around.

The People are going to depend a lot of Tom Brady vs. Seattle (don't like that matchup) and Trent Richardson vs. Cincinnati (a better matchup).  Detroit's D is shaky so DJax might be able to put up points.  Fred Jackson's going to have trouble turning things around against a tough Arizona defense, but after two humiliating losses by the Bills they could be due to break loose on someone like an abusive, frustrated husband.

Yahoo!'s picking Predator Press to win the rematch of Humor Bowl IV, and it's hard to argue against that notion.  But it's when Renal Failure is down that you really have to watch out for us.

Renal Failure is the 2010 HBFFL and FTWL champion, as well as the 2009 and 2011 HBFFL runner-up. We went 1-3 this week in our four leagues, so it's been an extra salty couple days for your People's Champion.


Chris C said...

How can I hate you as a heated rival when you use a Hobo With A Shotgun scene in the post?

Stop making this so difficult! hehe.

On a side note I had Bowe and T-Rich in my keeper league, and Bowe in my work league going for me last week. So rooting against you was rough.

LOBO said...

If you deployed eight Shaun Suishams, you would probably have this week all locked up.