Friday, October 15, 2010

Week 6 Preview: Renal Failure vs. Bourbon Blasters

by Renal Failure

Brett Favre ain't got shit on George C. Scott, and he's been dead for years...

It's Revenge Game time for Joe O. as his Bourbon Blasters take on the People's Champion Renal Failure in Week 6. Last season, Renal Failure squeaked out a one-point victory over last year's Defending Champions to keep their undefeated season alive, and that one game might have been what caused Joe not to make the playoffs last year. Also, Joe's undefeated streak to start this season ended with LOBO's Predator Press getting a big 21-point day from TE Vernon Davis, making Joe taste the dreaded "I Got Beat by a Tight End" soup that we had been served back in '08 when Dallas-fucking-Clark (then of the Ramblers) outscored Chris Johnson to beat us.

But what do we see here? Joe has Dallas Clark and the People's Champ has Chris Johnson in their lineups for week's throwdown. Could it be that this is the People's Chance to finally chase away the Dallas Clark poltergeist that has haunted us since '08, except for when his haunting laid dormant in '09 because we had him in our employ?

"Go into the light, Dallas Clark... all are welcome... all are welcome..."

As of Friday morning, Yahoo! has the Blasters whooping up on the People's Champ 93-71, worse than the 93-80 they wrongly projected us to lose by last week to Canucklehead. Tom Brady's only projected for 20pts against the Ravens, who last week gave up big numbers to Kyle Orton (though Joe is going to cut into Brady's points by starting Wes Welker). Chris Johnson is slated for 15 against the Jaguars, but this is a Bear Orbital Warning game because the Jags' Defense is weak. TE Marcedes Lewis still gets no respect even though he's got 5 touchdowns on the year and seems to be the only weapon David Garrard can rely on in the pass game. Daryl Revis is questionable against the Broncos, not that Brandon Lloyd cares because he's Brandon Lloyd and 100-yard games is his thing, at least it is this season. And the People's Bold lineup choice of the week: starting Rams' WR Danny Amendola. Sam Bradford's going to be slinging the ball around all day playing from behind vs. the Chargers, someone's got to catch it. And with Mark Clayton's gone for the season it's the perfect time for Amendola to shine.

On the Blasters side, eh... those numbers seem about right. Maybe Steven Smith loses some catches and TD's to Dominik Hixon and Mario Manningham. Maybe Shonn Green has the hot hand instead of LaDainian Tomlinson vs. Brett Favre's groin, uh I mean the Vikings. And perhaps the lack of a running game hurts Drew Brees vs Tampa Bay more than the brain trust at Yahoo! thinks. We tend to trust our own in-house brain trust more on these matters.

Ninja Vicki and Samurai Cathy think Drew Brees will fall short of his 25 projected points. They also think that Joe should start DeAngelo Williams because you get secret Yahoo! bonus points for starting people who are on Bye Weeks.

The People's Champion seems to be getting their mojo working again, and a win here would get them back to .500 right before the midway game of the season in Week 7, setting the Wild Card of the HBFFL up for a decent chance later in the season at an actual wild card spot, or possibly even first place. And everyone else in the HBFFL will be rooting for Renal Failure to win because then Joe would get knocked out of sole possession of first place and cast back down to the desperate masses. Plus it would guarantee Joe won't go 13-1 and break our record for wins in a regular season that we set last year. See? Everyone wins. Except for Joe. And probably Bex too 'cause she forgets to fix her lineup for her players' bye weeks.

Renal Failure has seen the best and brightest of his generation cut down by kung-fu treachery.


Chris C said...

No matter how many times I see that scene from Poltergeist the part where the girl is screaming what the hell is happening is what I remember most.

One line of dialogue summed up an entire scene.

renalfailure said...

I tend to scream that when I look at my Fantasy Football teams and see that they are getting blown out of the water.