Sunday, October 10, 2010

La Machine Must Get Ill This Week

I might not have more rhymes than Phyllis Diller but I've got a fantasy team that is finally warming up. And I have added Marshawn Lynch, who will get 20 carries a game for Pete Carroll's rah-rah Seahawks.

Did you know they have theme days in Seattle?

The Jets also have theme days. Every Thursday is "Junk Pics" day, where the players send pictures of their private parts to women. Wednesdays are "hit on the hot reporter during practice" day. Passing drills are performed to end up in the area the woman is doing the report from. Coaches and coordinators are also encouraged to participate.

But no matter what the Jets are doing this is a big week for the defending champions. Beat the impressive Ramblers and go 3-2 putting my team in the driver's seat for a playoff spot, or lose and go 2-3.

Besides the Beastie Boys motivating my team, I have a secret weapon like no other before it for this one.

Not only is this person a secret weapon because of his ability to scare children, but he also plays on my team.

Yup, Marshawn Lynch. And with the price of gold these days his teeth alone are worth the value of many countries' GDP.

Fear and liquid assets are what La Machine brings to the table this week.


Unfinished Rambler said...

Um, am I wrong or isn't Seattle on a bye week this week? If so, so much for your secret weapon, dude. ;)

LOBO said...

Marshawn Lynch?

I don't get it. And especially for Seattle ... if you cross your eyes while looking at their depth chart, they will change their entire lineup. You have my curiosity piqued.

Are you getting some kind of kickback from your dentist for this?

Chris C said...

@Rambler: Yes, that is correct. The rules state I can't use an active player as a secret weapon but Lynch was on a bye.

Secret weapons operate outside the games itself but in some mysterious way they influence the outcome.

hey, I didn't write the rules I just follow him.

Chris C said...


Lynch is one of the scariest-looking men in the NFL.