Disappointed Cat is disappointed... as are the Philadelphia Phillies, New York Yankees, and your People's Champion.
5 yards. All Jason Witten needed was five more receiving yards and Renal Failure would have pulled off the 2010 version of the Dallas-fucking-Clark maneuver where your TE throws a bear into space and wins the game for you. Comeback of the Year. Greatest Comeback Ever in the HBFFL perhaps. Instead, Dez Bryant got the call for the last Dallas score and the People's Champion loses Week 7 109-104 to Predator Press, who still lost to Bex in Week 6.
Of course, we wouldn't have needed Jason Witten to have the best game of his 2010 season if the cornerstones of our team, the innovators of chucking bears into space, Tom Brady (13pts) and Chris Johnson (6pts) had bothered performing this week. If that wasn't bad enough, Brandon Lloyd had a miserable day against Oakland (4pts) as well after performing so well the past few weeks. Dwayne Bowe (20pts) and Hines Ward (24pts) kept us in the game, as did the Kansas City Chiefs Defense (13pts), but it just wasn't enough.
But at least your kidneys still work, right? Right? Oh...
Once again, we pull the Jedi mind trick on an opponent, planting the seed of doubt about Chad Ochocinco as well as the Predator Press receiving corps. So LOBO went out and got Patrick Crayton, who had a respectable 8-point day against New England. However, Ochocinco put up a big 21 points vs. Atlanta on LOBO's bench. But he stayed firm on Roy Williams and was rewarded with no points from him. Even Mike Sims-Walker, who we maligned in last week's review had a nice 9-point day at the hands of the Jaguars' backup QB but also sat on the PredPress bench.
Damn it, one of these weeks we're going to make this mind-trick work for us to actually win a game instead of making us lose by less than we should have.
But luckily for LOBO his strategy of having the running backs that carried Renal Failure to the championship game last season finally paid off as SJax had 19pts and MJD had 17. Vernon Davis added an impressive 13 in the TE slot while the Seattle Defense had a nice 12 spot, all of which complimented Ben "The Lap Dance is Always Better When the Stripper is Crying" Roethlisberger's huge 32 point day vs. Miami.
And the less said about Eli Manning's 44pts and Brandon Jackson's 15pts sitting on our bench, the better...
This is how we feel about our 2010 season...
The People's Champion drags themselves to the halfway point of the season at a paltry 2-5. We're the San Diego Chargers of Fantasy Football this year, full of talent but somehow we just don't win. No team in HBFFL history has made the playoffs with a record under 8-6, so Renal Failure has to go at least 5-2 in the second half of the season to have a shot at a wild card spot. Considering Renal Failure holds the HBFFL record for consecutive victories in a season (8 straight to start the '09 season), you can't count the People's Champion out just yet. The road to the playoffs starts in Week 8 vs. Bex's Battling Butterflies. Our preview of that matchup will be later this week, after we stop howling like a mournful wookie into the empty night sky wondering why our team sucks.
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Renal Failure plays in four fantasy leagues, and every team of ours has Hines Ward (ed. correction: except one), as well as our HBFFL teams for the last two seasons too. We're not sure what that says about us.
3 comments:
where did you find that crying video? Awesomeness.
You don't watch Intervention on A&E? It's the best thing for your self-esteem. Sure, your job may suck and your life is a lie, but at least you're not whacked out on inhalants and meth like these people.
Ain't that the truth hehe.
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