Monday, September 21, 2009

Tuesday Morning QB A Day Early No Thanks To The Canuck In Our League

I've decided to bring back a feature from last year called Tuesday Morning Quarterback --

a day early no thanks to the Canuck in our league.

Here, I'll look over what I and (sometimes) other team owners could have done differently to win the game.

It's too early in the season to flagellate others, so this week I'll leave the flagellation for myself:


Both figures in the above picture are me.

If you notice, though, I'm not using the traditional cat o' nine tails and am only using the cat o' four tails, so really I'm not beating myself up too badly. Canucklehead of What The Canuck? wielded a cat o' five tails to finish the job.

Tail No. 1: Not using DeSean Jackson

Even though the Iggles (as you likely to hear them called if you live in southeastern Pennsylvania, which I once did -- along with more colorful descriptions, I'm sure, especially after this weekend) sucked it up against the Saints, wide receiver DeSean Jackson went for 101 yards on four catches and one touchdown. "Wildcat" also went 15 yards for the Eagles in the wildcat formation.

Friday night, based on bad fantasy football advice from various sources, I used Tampa Bay running back Derrick Ward instead. He went 32 yards on nine carries and amassed three points for me.

Meanwhile, Jackson racked up 22 points.

Net difference: 19 points!

Tail No. 2: Not using David Garrard

Jacksonville quarterback David Garrard is my backup and in the Jaguars' 31-17 loss to the Cardinals, he racked up 28 points to Green Bay quarterback Aaron Rodgers, my starter, who in the Packers' 31-24 loss to the Bengals, put up a respectable and predictable 23 points.

In this one, I don't feel quite as bad, because Rodgers, whom I also had last year, is reliable in most cases.

Net difference: Five points.

Tail No. 3: Not using Steve Breaston

Speaking of the Cardinals, Arizona wide receiver Steve Breaston put up a respectable 83 yards on five passes for eight points.

Randy Moss, my starter, meanwhile, had two points. That's right, count them:

bum-giving-the-finger-784479

My thoughts exactly. Thanks, Randy.

Instead of his predicted 13 points, he wound up with a measly two.

However, I still would have played him so I'll take back one of those fingers I gave you, Mr. Moss, and save the other one for when you screw me over next time.

Net difference: Six points.

Tail No. 4: Not using Dustin Keller

New York Jets' tight end Dustin Keller had eight points on one touchdown with 22 yards on three carries and one touchdown. Meanwhile, the player I started, Visanthe Shiancoe from the Minnesota Vikings went one-for-one-for-one and six points.

I hope Shiancoe can show me what he's got by the end of the year. Oh, wait, he already did that last year.

Net difference: Two points. Basically, a wash.
= Total difference: 32 points!

For Canucklehead, meanwhile, Baltimore running back Willis McGhee was predicted to get 13 points. Instead, he had two touchdowns and got 20 points. Buffalo running back Fred Jackson was predicted to have 13 points. Instead, he had 163 yards on the ground with 28 carries, but no touchdown. Who the Fahrvergn├╝gen cares, though? He had 23 points, 10 points higher than expected.

As it stands now, before Canucklehead even uses Peyton Manning in tonight's game, the score was 92-79 in his favor.

Congratulations, Canucklehead. Here's a song for you:

2 comments:

Canucklehead said...

Thanks Rambler - I LOVE that song, and specifically that version, eh? CHEERS!

Unfinished Rambler said...

Eh...CHEERS to you too, I guess (eh, not really after beating me, my Canadian friend ;).