Saturday, December 18, 2010

Week 15 Playoff Smackdown: Renal Failure vs. The Ramblers

by Renal Failure

Ines Sainz has done more for denim than Levi Strauss...

We're going to try to make this short because we've been busy as of late, trying to squeeze in some Christmas shopping in between devotional services to Our Lady of Victory. Renal Failure is projected to win 110-91 vs. The Ramblers. Let's break this down into its component parts.

Much of Renal Failure projected score comes from Chris Johnson's 25 projected points vs. Houston (reasonable considering Houston's weak defense), Peyton Hillis's 17 projected points vs. Cincinnati (sort of reasonable considering the Bengals suck), Tom Brady's 23 projected points vs. the Packers (highly reasonable because it's Tom "Bear NASA" Brady), and a surprising 12 projected points for the Tampa Bay Defense vs. Detroit (maybe not that reasonable because of all the injuries the Bucs have had lately).

Rambler's got some issues. Sure, he's still got the Number One RB in the league in Arian Foster, but he's going to be without his big-time QB Aaron Rodgers this week because of a concussion, placing his playoff victory hopes on Dallas' Jon Kitna. Amongst other problems with depending on Jon Kitna is that Renal Failure is starting Jason Witten at TE, a popular target of Kitna last week. Rambler looks to counter that by starting as many Patriots as he can, such as Deion Branch, Rob Gronkowski, and BenJarvus Green-Ellis. And while we see some value in that plan, it's not fool-proof because Tom Brady spreads the wealth. If Wes Welker, Aaron Hernandez, and/or Danny Woodhead have a big game, it's going to kill Rambler's chances of winning against his nemesis.

No sugar for us, Rambler. We're sweet enough...

What will win or lose this game for your People's Champion is whether Brandon Lloyd and Dwayne Bowe can turn things around after playing wretchedly the past two weeks. Lloyd's going to have Tim Tebow throwing the ball this week vs. the Raiders and Matt Cassel might return for the Chiefs to take on the Rams. Both of these things do not instill a lot of confidence with The People, but unfortunately other options at WR aren't very good this week. Hines Ward and Chad Ochocinco have tough match-ups against the Jets and Browns, and Minnesota is down to their third-string quarterback so Sidney Rice isn't likely to do much.

We're expecting to see Renal Failure in the championship game again, much to Rambler's dismay. But being eliminated from championship contention will allow the Unfinished One to pursue other things in his quest for completion. And since we're the ones who will alleviate him of his Fantasy Football burden, we'll give him a suggestion...

Renal Failure will probably lose to Rambler in the FTWL league that LOBO runs, but that league doesn't have its own blog on which to talk enormous amounts of smack so we don't feel as bad if we get beat over there.


Unfinished Rambler said...

You know what? You're right, in your analysis. I'm scrambling without Rodgers. Kitna? Really? Yeah, and Joe Webb. The hell?

I'm just hoping to beat you in the other league.

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