Thursday, December 2, 2010

Justice League Fantasy Football League

“I call this emergency meeting of the Justice League Kicks Ass fantasy football league to order.” Green Lantern banged the gavel down twice then stood up.

“What’s this about boss?” Green Arrow munched on an apple. “I got a big date tonight with Hawkgirl later so if we could hurry-“

“Hawkgirl?” Martian Manhunter asked. “But isn’t she-“

“Was. Was married to Hawkman. She came home early from an out-of-town convention last week and found him in bed with Black Canary.”


“Woah indeed.” Green Arrow sat back.

“Hey can we get back to business here?” Green Lantern asked. “The integrity of our league is at stake and going into the playoffs we need to make sure there is no cheating.”

There were rumblings around the room.

“I’m making some rule changes and the first one is a ban on reversing the rotation of the Earth in order to field an optimal starting lineup.”

“Oh come on man, I’m paralyzed from the neck down.” Superman retorted a half hour later through his straw voice tube. “It takes me a week to submit a lineup. I need an edge.”

“Well then why don’t you reverse the rotation so far back you avoid the accident which left you paralyzed?”

The room became eerily silent.

“Oh snap.” Atom snickered under his breath causing everyone to look at him. “What, too soon?”

Green Lantern continued. “And there will be no use of a magic lasso to try and get information from coaches, right Wonder Woman?”

“Yes.” She replied reluctantly.

“I’d also like to add a no-interference rule on the field of play. No tripping players who would tackle your running backs Flash.”

“Aww man.” Flash sighed. “We might as well call this the No Fun League.”

“And Aquaman…” Green Lantern said. ”stop picking up Dolphin players on waivers. You won’t win and they don’t respond to your telepathy thing, whatever it is.”

“What the hell does that have to do with cheating?” Aquaman asked.

“Nothing.” Green Lantern grinned. “Don’t we always end meetings by making fun of you?”

The hall filled with laughter of heroes as disaster was avoided. Their league would live to fight on the fantasy gridiron another day but how soon before their adversaries returned?

And did you hear Hawkman cheated on Hawkgirl? Yeah what's up with that?


renalfailure said...

Hey, DC comics canon has Green Arrow banging Black Canary, not Hawkgirl.

Chris C said...

Yeah until she caught him messing around.

Black Canary had caught Green Arrow making out with her florist shop assistant and sought revenge by sleeping with Hawkman.

Hawkgirl in turn will sleep with Green Arrow, who's returning the favor to get back at Black Canary.

Unfinished Rambler said...

Geeks. ;)