Saturday, October 11, 2014

Week 6: Shit Just Got Real - Behold Brandon McMananicus!

Even his condoms are frightening.
LOBO -Predator Press

Still smarting from the asswhipping Renal Failure aka "The People's Champion" delivered upon our beloved Preds in Week 5, I am driven to only one conclusion: "The People" are just plain dumb as a box of hammers.  But our league commissioner, doubtlessly feeling the pressure of mass public outcry by now, will have stepped down by Week 14 ... and that is when Renal Failure and "The People" will receive the swift, lethal payback of my all-kicker team.  And hopefully Ebola.

McMananicus will have little time to
recover from some minor cybernetic
tweaks and mandatory
performance-enhancing, eh,
"herbal suppliments." 
Leading the charge to find Renal Failure's ass -and follow the subsequent orders to kick it- will be Brandon McMananicus, who will be flexing his mighty big toe of glory on Bald Spots' slippery scalp in Week 6.

Once we work out some hydraulic issues and figure out how Brandon McMananicus can carry fifty three more laser pointers, we, the Preds, are a mere two oil changes from this year's HBFFL Championship.

Once, at tryouts, Kurt Cousins fired a touchdown pass square into my belly.  Despite fumbling bravely, I immediately went to the hospital.  I hate Kurt Cousins.  Why does he have to throw so hard?

PS: Does anyone know where I can get anthrax?  And postage stamps and envelopes?  And everyone in this league's addresses? And the instructions for this HAZMAT suit?

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