Wednesday, October 29, 2014

The People's Week 8: Dominate, son!

by Renal Failure

We would have gotten 174 if we started Denard Robinson instead of Bishop Sankey...

Cranberry Sauce learned the hard way that when Renal Failure gets going, things get real ugly for opponents. This we see in the People's 163-103 victory in Week 8 - our highest point total and margin of victory this season. Jeremy Maclin led the way with 37pts, followed by Drew Brees' 34.  We got a semi-unexpected boost from the Miami defense putting up 27 vs. the Jaguars, semi in that we expected a big day vs. the woeful Jags but not a bear in outer space day.  Even Jason Witten got it going with a 13-point day, most of that courtesy of a TD pass from Brandon Weedon.  Billy Cundiff remains Billy Cundiff, kicking 12 points on the day to keep us within a game of 4th place (held by Troi's Future Ex-Cons).

An 80-yard TD will certainly pep up your Fantasy point total.

Note: Apparently Larry Fitzgerald heard us talk smack about his effectiveness and got mad because he put up 29 points whilst sitting on our bench.  This isn't as egregious, however, as Future Ex-Cons leaving Tom Brady's 44 points on the bench, or the Patriots leaving Ben Roethlisberger's 55 points on the bench (and despite leaving all those points on our benches, all three of us won our games).

Cranberry Sauce kept pace with Matt Stafford (29pts), Jamaal Charles (23pts), Antonio Gates (17pts), Alshon Jeffrey (11pts ) and the Seattle D (10pts) but that was it for the Sauce. Jordy Nelson came up surprisingly small in the Packers game vs. the Bears (2pts), Shane Vereen was one of the few people not to get the ball much in that blowout win by the Pats (4pts), and Eric Decker... well, he plays for the Jets so, yeah (4pts).

There are a million running backs out there, but not all of them get into the end zone...

Alfred Morris hit paydirt this week with a good 14-point day but Marshawn Lynch and Bishop Sankey failed to impress yet again.  Sankey's going to the bench for Denard Robinson in Week 9 vs. Bald Spots. We need a spark at the FLEX position and Robinson's been lighting it up recently.  We're not going with Bobby Rainey, despite Doug Martin's injury and general suckitude. Rainey's burned us before.

If you threw for 44pts earlier, you'd still
a member of our team instead of on Troi's bench

Bald Spots is depending on big days from Rob Gronkowski and Carson Palmer because the rest of that lineup doesn't put the fear of the God Steve Winwood in the People (oh, you didn't know about The God Steve Winwood? Listen to CVS Bangers and recognize, son). Maybe Andre Ellington helps out but that's about it.

As of Wednesday, Yahoo!'s giving us a huge 103-78 projected victory, but that's with Bald Spots having Antone Smith of the Falcon starting on his bye week.  The only other available RB on the Bald Spots roster is Donald Brown and he's only projected for 4pts, bringing the Yahoo! projected score to a still-sizable 103-82 lost for the Spots of Baldness.

Renal Failure is never seen drinking cappuccino in Italian restaurants with Oriental women...

Renal Failure finds themselves in the scarcely-populated middle of the pack in the HBFFL.  The top 3 teams (7-1 Patriots, 6-2 Mile High Club, and 6-2 DreamCrushers!) have all scored over 900 points and have had less than 800 points scored on them.  The bottom five teams are either 3-5 (Bald Spots and Meaty Clackers) or 2-6 (Bourbon Blasters, Predator Press, and Cranberry Sauce), have all scored under 800 points, and have had over 800 points scored on them (with Cranberry Sauce the only team to have over 900 points scored on them).

We just like this. And we like whispering it into
people's ears too. They find it rather haunting.
But the middle pack teams of Renal Failure and Future Ex-Cons are different.  RF at 4-4 has 857 points scored and 885 points against.  Future Ex-Cons (who are enjoying a 4-game winning streak) sits at 5-4 with 870 points scored and 780 scored against.  If things don't turn around quick for the bottom five teams (and if the top three teams don't collapse), we may only see a two-team race for that last playoff spot, much like last season which was the only time the HBFFL has seen three teams with 10 or more wins in a season.  Will 8 wins be the magic number to get in this year as it was for Delusions of Adequacy last year? Your People's Champ has made it in with 8 before, and going 4-2 the rest of the way is doable. Getting to 9 wins, the only guaranteed win total for the playoffs historically speaking, means going 5-1 — a more difficult task considering three of those games are against the aforementioned top three teams in the league. Stealing one win will be tough, let alone two.  Winning against all three?  We'll need to get a little liquored up to make such a boastful claim.

The hunt continues...

Renal Failure is the People's Champion of Fantasy Football. We also won big in the FTWL, dominating 157 to 48. Man, did that skew our Points For/Points Against numbers. We're in 4th place in the FTWL, where we are also looking to overtake Troi's team in the standings.

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