Saturday, October 25, 2014

The People's Week 7: Everyone does their best against us

by Renal Failure


When it rains, it keeps raining, and rains some more until there's nothing but the rain...


The People's Champ was busy this past week doing the People's Business so we're going to keep this brief, and overly terse because we lost.

Good news: We scored 94 points for the second week in a row
Bad news: Troi and his Future Ex-Cons scored 140, the highest total of the week and making this loss the biggest blowout of the week in the HBFFL.
Semi-Good News: Yahoo! says that three of our four losses have come against team's putting up the highest score that week, so if we're getting beat we're getting beat by the absolute best.

Good news: We were right about Demaryius Thomas mitigating the damage from Peyton Manning. Thomas has 36 points, Manning had 38.
Bad news: We were wrong about Marques Colston not getting many points from Drew Brees. Colston put up 16, Brees 31. Not that it would have mattered, but we like to be right.

Bad news: Marshawn Lynch and Alfred Morris duplicated their weak performance from last week.
Really bad news: Fred Jackson got injured and is out for at least a month
Really really bad news: Our handcuff for Fred Jackson, CJ Spiller, broke his collarbone and is out for the season.
Really really really bad news: LOBO snatched up Cody Parkey from waivers when we dropped him for his bye week.

Semi-good news: Despite the big numbers that the people we traded for Drew Brees Sammy Watkins, Chris Ivory, and Tom Brady put up on the Future Ex-Cons bench, we still would have lost if we had all three on our team for this week's game. By 3 points. So the trade is still a positive for us.
Bad news: Larry Fitzgerald has ceased to be a valuable WR.


How many assholes do we have left on this team? YO!

So our running back depth has gone to shit and our starting RB's are struggling, a complete reversal of the usual Renal Failure operating procedure. And while it's never a good time for your strengths to become your weakness, it's particularly inopportune when you're at the halfway mark of the season sitting at 3-4 in 5th place. 

Week 8 looks favorable to the people according to the bots at Yahoo!  Demaryius Thomas has already put up a solid 15 points on Thursday night to set the pace against our Week 8 foes Cranberry Sauce, and we get Jeremy Maclin back in the lineup too. Unfortunately for us 2-5 Cranberry Sauce has gotten 17 points from Antonio Gates, which does not bode well for us considering TE has been very weak for the People's Champ. Still, Yahoo! projects we come out on top 111-104.

Cranberry Sauce might not know this, but the 2nd half of the season is usually where Renal Failure cranks it up several notches. We've turned disastrous starts into playoff runs, and even a championship. So do not be alarmed if Renal Failure starts dominating in these late-in-the-season games because it's what we're famous for around these parts, especially since we've clear most of our bye weeks for our starters.

Renal Failure is the People's Champion, and also got hammered in the FTWL  in Week 7 too.  We're in 5th place there so it appears that no matter what decisions we make, we're a middle of the pack squad so far in 2014.

3 comments:

Michael Wolfe said...

Cody Parkey claims you were snooty to him.

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