Friday, September 5, 2014

The Dreamcrushers! Sets Their Sights on Predator Press

My crushing of fantasy football hopes and dreams gets real this week, for rizzles even with the first matchup of the season: The Autodrafters, a.k.a. LOBO's Predator Press. 

Things are not looking good for LOBO, as we will see with the forthcoming scientific analysis...

Quarterbacks

Luck (Dreamcrushers!) vs Kaepernick (Predator Press)

Things would be a lot easier if Kaepernick would just drop that first e. He could put an end to the question he has been asked a million times: "Is it Ka-pernick or K-prnick?"

But Kaepernick didn't hear them because he has his Beats on. What did he do before Beats were invented? And before that you can tell everybody song was published?

So yeah, a push on this position.

Advantage: Even


Running Backs


Forte and Bush (Dreamcrushers!)  vs Le'Veon Bell and Toby Gerhart (Predator Press)

I had a parakeet named Toby when I was a child and it was not very intimidating. Couldn't even get it to say "pretty bird".

And Bell, well he's hanging out with Blount, who was part of the party clique in Tampa Bay a few years back. They even have a side bet during games: whoever has the least amount of all purpose yards pays for the weed. 

Advantage: The Dreamcrushers!

Wide Receivers/Flex

Julio Jones, K. Allen, M. Floyd (Dreamcatchers!) vs AJ Green, K. Britt, R. Wayne (Predator Press)
(Included the flex because both of us are starting WR in that slot.)

The present and the future against the present and 2012. Britt? Wayne? LOBO has turned his fantasy football roster into a time machine. And it isn't even a Delorean. Where his receivers are going might not need roads but they will need the luck of the fantasy gods.

Advantage: The Dreamcrushers!

Tight End


K. Rudolph (Dreamcrushers!) vs J. Graham (Predator Press)

Yeah, I got nothing.

Advantage: Clearly Predator Press


Kicker and Defense


Hahahahahaha....flip a coin.

So final tally is advantage me for RB and WR, Predator Press for TE, and a tie at QB. And you know what that means. 

2 comments:

Michael Wolfe said...

Well, I'm gettin' spanked in both leagues this week.

But the upside is my teams aren't as bad as I thought. Instead of "Holy S**T We Suck," we are elevated to just plain "We Suck."

With the travel plans, I hope I am around enough to nurse these guys into a competitive form.

Chris C said...

Luck put me right back in it. Boom! Kid is nasty.