Woe to thee, Joe! Behold my secret surprise strategy that will destroy you tomorrow:
Team Predator Press will be divided in half. The first half, Seal Team L, will be in charge of getting the football into a rectangular scoring area in the grass also known as the "End Zone." Meanwhile Walrus Squad 17 will simultaneously try to get the football into a completely different spot in this same "End Zone."
Ha! Sporting platitudes like "May the Best Player Win" are pretty patronizing when my superior football acumen is so obvious; as long as squads 'L' and '17' are both facing the correct direction, Predator Press can't lose. We will crush the bones of the hapless and helpless Bourbon Blasters into
a chalky paste. And then we will pour that hapless and helpless paste into a zinc smelter. And then Peyton Manning will throw that zinc smelter into the Sun!
Soon, the 'Best Fantasy Football Player' will have won, just as Destiny has already foreseen in the past future recently.
-Sniff ya on the football court tomorrow, chump.