Saturday, October 19, 2013

For All The Lost Marbles

When KHAN and LOBO were in college, it was a simpler time. Al Gore, in desperate need of pornography, had just invented the internet. “Titanic” dominated the box office. Hawaii -somehow ever oblivious to pop culture- still believed “Red Red Wine” and “Margaritaville” were the only goddamn fucking songs ever written. A misguided Melody B had fallen hopelessly for LOBO's irresistible manliness, and he spent entire semesters relentlessly being chased by her. Poor thing.

At some point KHAN went totally rogue.  What turned him to the Dark Side? Why did he hate children so much?  Was it the time LOBO tried to make a Xerox copy of a mirror?  No one really knows.  But in retrospect, KHAN was laying the groundwork of his sinister ambitions the whole time.

He became a teacher.

For more than ten years now, KHAN's reign of terror upon adolescence has been merciless, replete with forcing poor innocent kids to “learn” stuff, do homework, and watch books. He lectures for endless excruciating hours about utterly useless crap like math and history -utterly avoiding the more practical skills like shoplifting, insurance fraud, and funneling frequent microscopic profits into untaxable offshore bank accounts. And knowing that LOBO is perhaps the only man who can stop this sadistic madness, KHAN hatched yet another diabolic plan: to defeat our hero this week on the HBFFL gridiron.
 
Who can defeat KHAN and his juggernaut Future Ex Cons?

-And can LOBO save our children from KHAN's evil clutches?

2 comments:

Mr. Troi said...

Don't bring up college man...last time I checked, someone was a wolf in women's clothing during college.

Michael Wolfe said...

That was one time, and purely experimental.