Sunday, October 20, 2013

Going Wolf Hunting

Why, against all reason, am i blogging and about Fantasy Foosball no less? Foosball is the devil. Which makes Fantasy Foosball, the devil's fantasy.
Just like meth, one should treat blogging with a view of "Not even once." Really, who even blogs anymore? It's a dead media. Today's society is way too fast for that. If it can't be said in 140 characters or less, then it loses the audience. Why write when an Instagram says a thousand words? #KidsCanNotRead In fact, there's a quote going around my FB feed that perfectly summarizes my point: "Frak blogging" Abraham Lincoln. See, if our most beloved US President said it, then it must be true. Blogging is for people who like to hear themselves talk but in writing. It's for people who believe themselves better than those who vlog on youtube. "Look at me, I can talk but I'm gonna make it more complicated by saying it with my fingers." But I digress and must go back to the point.

 Why am I blogging? LOBO made me do it. It started with a cryptic letter. The letter had some fanatical claims. LOBO claimed, "I KNOW you blog." Ninja, please. I'm a Social Media Connoisseur. Do you think Jay-Z would stoop to blogging? LOBO also claimed that it would be a perfect opportunity to exchange some trash talking since my #1 Ranked Future Ex-Cons and his #2 team(and believe me, there's a HUGE drop off from 1 and 2. It's like as if #1 is eating ice cream and #2 is eating razor blades.) Predator Press. Sure, we have the same 5-1-0 record and my team happens to come first alphabetically, but if LOBO was smart then he would have named his team "A Predator Press". Yet he didn't so let's all go doubt his mental acumen. It's okay, you know you already do. I'm not saying he's dumb, but if the cap fits...
Let's just say it's time for Peyton Manning to smack Jay Cutler upside the head. His previous tired tirade in this "Humor" blog league also claims that as a teacher, I am somehow raising some army to think and act as I do. Well, yes, but what army is going to keep the evil that is LOBO at bay? Someone has to do it and I will gladly order that code red to keep you all safe.

 *The views in this entry does not represent the views of this blog as a whole, its other authors, or this particular author either.*


Michael Wolfe said...

I'm actually a little blown away you remember how I got my "Handle."

-Where the hell are Kevin, Grant and Aaron?


nonamedufus said...

Join the club Michael. I lost to Troi too. I think you're going down this week.

Michael Wolfe said...

Yeah. Cutler with negative one point? Yeesh.

-Doesn't that mean that technically I'm further up the field than he is?

Michael Wolfe said...

Well, the good news is we have all these unsaved children around.

Mmmm. Tasty, tasty children.