Thursday, November 29, 2012

The People's Week 13: Spoiler Alert!

by Renal Failure

Yeah, not making the playoffs hurts, but not as bad as not making the playoffs and living in Philadelphia...

The People have had little to celebrate this season, so they take whatever small amount of joy they can squeeze out of ruining Nonames attempts to make the playoffs with our 108-84 victory in Week 12. We didn't expect to win, except if RGIII threw a bear into outer space, which he did (40pts).  Tom Brady on our bench, however, threw up a 43-point bear vs. The Jets, so it's not like we can claim a great strategic victory by way of our starting lineup selection.  We were getting a 40+ point day from our QB no matter what.

Trent Richardson and CJ Spiller had passable 16 and 15 point days respectively.  Our pick-up of the St. Louis defense paid off huge with their 22 points vs. Arizona. Shaun Suisham outscored DeSean Jackson 2 to 0, and DJax had the decency after two-straight games without any points to go on Injured Reserve.  We didn't start BenJarvus Green-Ellis and he had a monster 22pts, which again if he had done this earlier in the season maybe we could have traded him for some value at WR and possibly salvaged something respectable out of this miserable season.

If our dreams of making the playoffs have been destroyed, so must yours!

Nonames had decent weeks from Doug Martin (18pts), AJ Green (15pts), and Reggie Bush (14pts), but Aaron Rodgers let him down with only 15pts vs. the Giants, a team that Andy Dalton had carved up earlier in the season for big pointage.  So it's not like there was much Nonamedufus could regret about this loss, only that he happened to play us on the first week we've breached the century mark in points since Week Four vs. What the Canuck?  We've only exceeded 100 points three times this season, twice vs. Canadian-based teams.  Apparently we have no mercy for our neighbors to the north, especially NoNames whose playoff dreams we've crushed for the 2nd straight season (he missed the playoffs barely last season because he was 8-6 and we were 8-5-1).

But this victory did not pull your People's Champion out of the HBFFL basement, as Bald Spots also dashed LOBO's dream of repeating as HBFFL champion with a win in Week 12 as well to drop him to 5-7.  As we've stated before, no team in the HBFFL has made the playoffs with a 7-7 record, and there's little reason to believe that will change.

This just in... there's two games left in the season...

Week 13 gives Renal Failure a chance to play spoiler again, this time against What the Canuck? who at 6-6 cannot afford that evil 7th loss if he has any aspirations for the playoffs, which we assume he has.  Luckily for Canucklehead, he's got Matty Stafford and Andre Johnson who have been on bear-chucking rolls lately.  Miles Austin has a great matchup vs. the hapless Eagles. Ahmad Bradshaw is rolling along nicely too.

Once again, the People's Champ will have to rely on RGIII to throw a bear into orbit for any hope of a Renal Failure victory, with help from the tandem of T-Rich and Spiller.  Perhaps new WR pickup Davone Bess can get our WR corps to actually score some decent points for a change.  Yahoo! gives the early edge to Canuck, but they did the same thing to NoNames last week and look where that got him: a one-way ticket out of the playoff hunt.

What about the teams that are still hammering it out for playoff spots?  Let them write their own damn posts about that.

Renal Failure is the 2010 HBFFL champion, and the HBFFL runner-up in 2009 and 2011. Renal Failure clinched a playoff spot in their 12-team league this week, so it's not all rainclouds and AIDS regarding our 2012.

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