Friday, November 16, 2012

The People's Week 11: A post-season without Renal Failure

by... eh, who cares...

"Did I just catch you trying to win at Fantasy Football?"

It's an ugly fact of Fantasy Football life, but sometime it's just not your season. And 2012 is turning out to be an outright disaster for your People's Champion.  Our latest 102-78 defeat to Delusions of Adequacy, dropping us to 3-7, has pretty much eliminated Renal Failure out of playoff contention, as no team has ever gotten into the HBFFL playoffs with less than an 8-6 record. 

We guessed wrong with our RB's yet again, going with BenJarvis Green-Ellis (5pts) instead of Fred Jackson (22pts) because we were starting CJ Spiller (12pts) and couldn't make ourselves start both Bills RB's at the same time.  We won't have that problem in Week 11 because Fred Jackson is out with a concussion, but at least our error in not starting him in Week 10 didn't cost us the game considering how poorly the rest of the team performed.

Tom Brady had a very non-Brady-like 19 points vs. Buffalo.  DJax (5pts), Jason Witten (4pts)and Dwayne Bowe (6pts) had nothing substantial to offer. We can take solace that we guessed right by picking up the Tennessee Defense (16pts) and that Shaun Suisham continues to be our MVP (10pts), which is a damn tragedy.  We just can't score this year for shit.

If it wasn't for the other leagues we're doing better in, you'd have to hide all sharp objects from us...

Delusions took our advice and benched Michael Vick for Carson Palmer, who blew up for 30pts.  Steven Ridley (15pt) and Ray Rice (1spt) crushed our RB's, Roddy White (15pts) and Hakeen Nicks (7pts) outdid our WR's.  Even Justin Tucker beat our MVP with a busy 13pt day.  We got blown out of the water by a team that mirrors the strengths of previously-successful Renal Failure rosters.

And so The People have come to accept a playoff-less year from their Champion, that this is not their year to shine.  Our goal now is to finish 7-7 and save some modicum of respect in this wretched year of 2012.  Last time we missed the playoffs was 2008, so perhaps the trend is that Renal Failure does poorly in election years.

This season, we are the 99% who don't win their league.  OCCUPY Yahoo! Fantasy Football!!!

So... Week 11 vs. Future Ex-Cons, the team directly above us in 8th place at 5-5.  Troi's missing MJD but Shady McCoy is sure to get more work now that Vick is out in Philly.  Alfred Morris will probably run all day on the Eagles D.  Peyton Manning will be throwing all day against the Chargers.  It looks to be a good day for the Ex-Cons.

For the Failure, we already grabbed 12 points with CJ Spiller.  Tom Brady has a nice matchup vs. the Colts.  Trent Richardson is back from his bye to trample the Cowboys. And Shaun Suisham remains Shaun Suisham. Not bad, but not that good either.

Yahoo! is actually projecting a Renal Failure victory due to current projections, but Renal Failure has underperformed pretty much all season.  But that's why they play the games.  The road to mediocrity begins here!

Renal Failure is the People's Champion, the 2011 and 2009 HBFFL runner-up, and the 2010 HBFFL and FTWL champion who will certainly do better next year in both those leagues because it doesn't get much worse than how they're doing.

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