With the lowest number of points earned in the opening week, Renal Failure finds itself at the bottom of the one-loss fivesome in the Humor Bloggers Fantasy Football League... which is exactly where we plotted to be.
For you see, as we learned over a year ago failure is just a success that hasn't happened yet. So it's not that we were unsuccessful against Rickey Henderson's Menschwarmers, we are just being successful at a later time.
Our low score is just a lot of points that haven't been scored yet.
Carson Palmer didn't have a bad week, he just completed a lot of passes that hadn't been thrown. Like how Larry Fitzgerald earned many yards for catches he never caught.
So everything's coming up Milhouse for us here at Renal Failure, despite where we are in the standings. And nothing's going to change that, because denial is just a reality that other people haven't accepted yet.
Oh, and Tom Brady is still out for the season...