by The People's Champion Renal Failure
Why can't we have a running back that makes it through an entire game?
Our 84-68 loss to the NoNames can be traced to a few major factors. One being CJ Spiller injuring himself in the 1st quarter of his game (after getting 11 points). The second being AJ Green for the NoNames throwing a 32-point bear into orbit that not even the Hubble telescope saw coming.
The CJ Spiller injury screwed us in more ways than one because we were shopping Spiller during this week's games. Then came news of his injury and other teams couldn't click the Decline Trade button fast enough.
This is how most teams react to our trade offers...
None of our WR's performed well this week (Dwayne Bowe got as many points as our kicker Shaun Suisham - 7) Jason Witten has up and vanished for reasons we can't figure out. Rookie RB Trent Richardson scrapped for his 10 points and the Green Bay Defense that had been racking up big points went quiet in that abortion of a Monday Night game.
But the people can take solace in the fact we started RGIII and he outperformed Tom Brady (28 to 25),
thus advancing our signature trade bait plan. We've got the solution
to your QB problems right here. Someone's going to bite sooner or
Renal Failure is always three steps ahead of games that people aren't even playing...
So Week 4 brings us to a matchup with another 1-2 team, What the Canuck?, who we think for the first time ever does not have Peyton Manning as his quarterback and only has one representative from the Buffalo Bills on his roster (the Buffalo defense). Canuck is weak at running back but his wide receiver corps could pose some issues (especially with Andre Johnson vs. the Titans). Matt Stafford might not be ready to go so Canuck would have to turn to Philip Rivers who has just been 'eh' this season.
Renal Failure will have to see which Bills RB is ready for Sunday, Spiller or Jackson (hopefully it's not both who are in or out). Trent Richardson will be hard pressed for yardage against the Ravens,, but DeSean Jackson usually has success against the Giants and Dwayne Bowe could always rack up some points in garbage time vs. the Chargers. Or we could go with Greg Jennings vs. the Saints. This game might come down to whether RGIII can throw a bear into space vs. the Buccaneers. Otherwise, there's a chance we could get beat in a small-scoring affair (though Yahoo! projections doesn't see it that way).
Other teams in the HBFFL don't want Renal Failure getting back to .500, because they know Renal Failure catches fire in the second half of the season. Bury us now or we'll rocket up the standings and get hot for the playoffs.
Renal Failure is the 2011 and 2009 HBFFL runner-up, and the 2010 HBFFL champion. Renal Failure is also the the 2010 FTWL champion and is currently 2-1 in that league after beating LOBO's pwn.exe team. Renal Failure is also 2-1 in another league and 2-0 in a league that doesn't count Week One.