La Machine Wins 2009 HFBBL Super Bowl

After a one-point loss to Fantasy Virgin in 2008’s final, La Machine crushed Renal Failure to win the 2009 HBFFL Championship, 127-62.

Talk about throwing bears into outer space. Or beating a fantasy team like a rented mule.



I waited all day Sunday, and even Monday hoping Renal Failure's team would actually show up. I'm sure he was much more anxious then I was of course, hoping for a championship as well as redemption for one of his only two regular season losses.

And I know about redemption. I got mine against Defending Champion in both weeks five and fourteen.

I know about struggling. After four weeks, La Machine was 1-3 and in ninth place. But they do not call me the King of Fantasy Football for nothing.

It took some good pickups (Ray Rice, NE defense), one of the gutsiest trades in fantasy football history (Chris Johnson in exchange for Andre Johnson), and some luck (the lowest PA in HBFFL) but here I stand, the Champs.



And of course, I am the King of Fantasy Football because I took all three of my fantasy teams to the finals, winning two of them. It was one hell of a season.

On that note it is time to celebrate. Take us out King Africa...


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Chris Cameron is a co-writer and the editor of the HBFFL humor blog. He also writes his own brand of odd humor at Angry Seafood.

Tonight I'm gonna party like it's around 1780?

If only my opponent Joe, coach of the Defending Champion team, had played Falco (at least, that's what he said in a Yahoo chat on Sunday)...

oops, I think he meant Flacco, he might have had, at least, a fighting chance against me in our fifth-place consolation game.

Alas, he didn't.

Even if he had, he only would have tied me at 108-108 instead of the 108-106 score by which I did win, and I would have won on tiebreakers by having more touchdowns than he did: 7 to 4 per the rules in our league for tiebreakers.

But at least, he would have had a fighting chance...

...as it was, going into last night's Vikings-Bears game, my team was behind Joe's team 104-106.

All I needed was the Vikings to get an interception at least to tie the game. How hard could that be, especially against Jay Cutler, who had 25 entering last night's game? Or even a couple of sacks, with sacks being worth 1 point, one would think that wouldn't be hard.

Well, one would be...like this urinal...

See video at Gizmodo to see how wrong.

First quarter, Vikings D, 0. Second quarter, Vikings D, 0. Most of third quarter, Vikings D, 0 until...

with 1:12 left in the third quarter, Cutler was sacked, and I was within one, 105-106...then two plays later, finally the interception came, and I was ahead 107-106.

http://www.flickr.com/photos/wallrevolution/ / CC BY-SA 2.0

Finally finishing at 8-8, .500 and in fifth out of 10 places, I could dance like it was around 1780 and in Vienna.

2009 HBFFL MVP Week Sixteen

This was an odd MVP week as the pool of players were two teams fighting for the championship, another two playing for third place, two more for fifth, and yet two more for seventh.

No matter what it is the last MVP post for the 2009 season...

QB- Donovan McNabb 41
La Machine

RB- Jonathan Stewart 32
The Ramblers

WR- Randy Moss 22
The Ramblers

TE- Brent Celek 23
Prestige Worldwide

K- David Akers 12
Predator Press

Def- Green Bay Packers 11
Prestige Worldwide
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(Points are based on the following system: Passing-1 pt/20 yds, 6 pt TD, 5 point 300+ yds; Receiving/Rushing- 1pt/10 yds, 6pt TD, 5 point bonus 100+ yds; 2Pt Conversion 2 pts; Sacks 1pt, Int/Fumb 2 pts; Def/ST TD 6 pts; Safety 2 pts; Block Kick 2 pts; FG 3 pts, 1 point bonus 50+ yds; PAT 1 pt. Bench players are not eligible.)

2009 HBFFL WK 16 Playoff/Consolation Results

La Machine wins HFBBL Championship

Predator Press wins Third Place game

The Ramblers win Fifth Place game

Prestige Worldwide wins Seventh Place game

Play our season out, Keyboard Cat!

The People's Champion had a bad day... so bad that by the time 4pm rolled around we didn't even bother taking out the inactive Stephen Jackson from our lineup. Not that it would have mattered anyway.

La Machine soundly defeated Renal Failure 127-62 for the HBFFL Championship, no two or three or six ways about it, and in complete Wild Card (bitches!) fashion too as we did not expect our starting lineup (with the exception of Philip Rivers) to utterly and completely collapse in the biggest game of the year. Nope... didn't see that coming at all. That's how the Wild Card rolls.

But there is no sympathy for the devil, or Renal Failure. So I guess that's our last nickname of the year, The Devil. It does explain how we got away with that trade with The Ramblers, and why no one really wanted to trade with us after that. That and the Devil has all the best bands on his side.


Angela Gossow will rock your face so hard it will get pushed out the back of your skull...

On the bright side, we did improve over last season's 7th-place finish at 8-6, won our first playoff game ever (before totally not showing up for the championship game), and set the benchmarks of excellence for the regular season with our nine-game win streak and 12-2 record.

And now we've reached the Fantasy off-season, where the People's Champion is likely to lose themselves in an alcohol-soaked bender until we're numb to all of our pain and dissapointment. And hopefully by the time we come out of that self-destructive cycle it'll be time for the 2010 HBFFL season... where the fight to the top begins again.



---Renal Failure wanders alone down the road to the that sad piano music from the Incredible Hulk TV show...