Showing posts with label Humor Bloggers Fantasy Football League. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Humor Bloggers Fantasy Football League. Show all posts

Tuesday, November 13, 2012

Tuesday Morning QB: There's an app for that, loser!

Welcome to Tuesday Morning Quarterback, where I take a look back at what I (and sometimes others) would have (could have/should have) done differently with my (their) fantasy football teams for that previous week's games. 

Well, this week again I'm not going to look back at what I could have done differently, because I still won...although this week by a mere 7 points and putting up a measly 88 points. So I don't FUCKING ROCK. I just rock, but still rock in first place nonetheless.

However, I am going to look back at what my opponent, Troi with his Future Ex-Cons, could have done differently.

One thing the California boi (see what I did there? clever, huh?) could have done differently: Put in a replacement running back for Alfred Morris who was on a bye.

Troi normally isn't an absentee owner, but this past week, I think he got distracted by being on vacation. See, I'm friends with him on Facebook and it looks like he and his wife went to Missouri to visit family.

What I also see is that he checks in an awfully lot on Foursquare. Dude is everywhere. He's eating (and drinking) at restaurants (and microbreweries), frolicking at parks and waiting at airports. What he's not doing is checking in on his fantasy football team...

...and it's so simple.

Because there's an app for that...


Yahoo! Fantasy Football '12 (pay attention to this link, my boi Troi) is available as an app both on Android and iPhone.

If only Troi had had the app on his phone and then used it...

...instead of losing 88-81, Troi could have won with any one of these three running backs who were available on the waiver wire: Danny Woodhead, Chris Ivory or Andre Brown. Personally, I would have gone with either Woodhead or Ivory, but any of the three would have given Troi the victory.

But nooooo, he left bye-week Morris in and got defeated by a weak 7 points.

Don't let something similar happen to you...whatever fantasy league in, I'm sure there is an app for your league. Get it and don't be a loser like Troi.

Tuesday, September 25, 2012

Tuesday Morning QB: A fighting chance at Flex

Welcome to Tuesday Morning Quarterback, where I take a look back at what I (and sometimes others) would have (could have/should have) done differently with my (their) fantasy football teams for that previous week's games.

This week I only have one quibble with one team manager in our league and that is Bryan of Bald Spots, whom I have picked on previously, but can't help myself when the dude continues to make dumbass moves...or, as in the case this week, doesn't make any moves. In the process, he left 122 fantasy points on the bench.

I could pick on him for not moving either Andrew Luck or Eli Manning into the QB position over Alex Smith this week, with both Luck and Manning outscoring Smith, Luck especially with 20 more fantasy points even in a loss. That certainly contributed to his 116-90 loss to LOBO's Predator Press (who amazingly left 113 points on the bench, but still won, in no small part aided by Bryan's dumbass moves...or, as in the case this week, lack of moves, dumbass).

However, I want to single him out particularly for his lack of movement at the flex position from Week 2 to Week 3, and thus not giving himself a fighting chance. In Week 2, he chose Randy Moss and left Moss in there with Michael Turner AND DeAngelo Williams on the bench. Yes, it was Torrey Smith, at wide receiver, who unexpectedly exploded and would have been the ideal flex play for Bryan this week, but I think I would have gone with the proven experience of either of the two running backs.

Either one of those moves, in most weeks, would have given Bryan a fighting chance, and that's really what it comes down to: picking the players, especially at the flex position, who give you a fighting chance. What doesn't help is not even looking at your lineup before the next week, which is what I imagine happened with Bryan and what sometimes happens to all of us. But all it takes is two minutes, folks.

You'll see something like this:



Then it's easy-peasy to insert either Turner or Williams into the lineup and give yourself yes, that fighting chance you so richly deserve.

Image courtesy of Atom Smasher



Tuesday, September 11, 2012

Tuesday Morning QB: Four numbnuts, three QBs, two kickers, one GRONK!


Welcome to Tuesday Morning Quarterback, where I take a look back at what I (and sometimes others) would have (could have/should have) done differently with my (their) fantasy football teams for that previous week's games.


Since this week I was almost fucking perfect in my selections this week and having scored the highest number of points this week among all the teams with 131 points, I'm going to look back at what the other managers could have done differently with their teams.

I only have one bone to pick with one manager for this week's games and that's with my opponent Troi who chose to use for his defense for his Future Ex-Cons the Detroit Lions instead of the New York Jets. The Jets D destroyed with 20 points; the Lions D piddled out a mere THREE points.

Speaking of THREE, I'm going to look back specifically at the draft, where I have to give a special shout out to Bryan who picked up THREE quarterbacks for his Bald Spots team. As if that isn't bad enough, his selections were, maybe with the exception of the first one, atrocious.

He started out all right with Eli Manning in the second round as the eight pick, but then holy shit did he go down hill as he then selected Andrew Luck in the eighth round as the eighth pick and finally Alex Smith in the 16th round with the eighth pick. The sad thing is he still has ALL THREE on his roster when I looked tonight. I hope he plans on ditching one or two of them soon and if he wants to ditch Manning to see what kind of luck (pun intended) he'll have with the other two, I'll be glad to pick up Manning.

The rest of the managers, to be honest, didn't fare too badly with their choice in QBs, but I have to give another shout out to four other managers who picked not just one kicker but TWO kickers (hey, at least, they didn't pick THREE). The four numbnuts are the two Canadians, nonamedufus and Canucklehead, and LOBO and RaiderDad. Canucklehead takes the cake by picking two kickers as his last two picks with John Kasay and Adam Vinatieiri. Not to be outdone, nonamedufus chose both Janikowski and Gould. LOBO selected Akers and Bironas; finally RaiderDad, with Mason Crosby and Matt Bryant.

Why I call the four numbnuts "numbnuts" is because kickers are a dime a dozen. You don't get that many points from them. You can find one on the waiver wire for the bye week or switch out whenever you need to do so -- same with tight ends, for the most part, except for a few like Rob Gronkowski (whom, oh, yeah, I have too -- read this and weep, mofos!).


Yes, I left Chris, RF and Joe alone this time, but don't worry they will fuck up at some point over the next 15 remaining weeks. Guaranteed and when they do, I'll be there to Tuesday Morning QB the whole fiasco...and ahem, speaking of numbnuts (and not to leave myself out this week), what kind of manager picks another TE after already having Gronk on his squad? Um, yeah, that would be this guy (pointing at myself). At least, it was the last pick of the draft and wasn't Tim Tebow.