Tuesday Morning QB: Four numbnuts, three QBs, two kickers, one GRONK!

Welcome to Tuesday Morning Quarterback, where I take a look back at what I (and sometimes others) would have (could have/should have) done differently with my (their) fantasy football teams for that previous week's games.


Since this week I was almost fucking perfect in my selections this week and having scored the highest number of points this week among all the teams with 131 points, I'm going to look back at what the other managers could have done differently with their teams.

I only have one bone to pick with one manager for this week's games and that's with my opponent Troi who chose to use for his defense for his Future Ex-Cons the Detroit Lions instead of the New York Jets. The Jets D destroyed with 20 points; the Lions D piddled out a mere THREE points.

Speaking of THREE, I'm going to look back specifically at the draft, where I have to give a special shout out to Bryan who picked up THREE quarterbacks for his Bald Spots team. As if that isn't bad enough, his selections were, maybe with the exception of the first one, atrocious.

He started out all right with Eli Manning in the second round as the eight pick, but then holy shit did he go down hill as he then selected Andrew Luck in the eighth round as the eighth pick and finally Alex Smith in the 16th round with the eighth pick. The sad thing is he still has ALL THREE on his roster when I looked tonight. I hope he plans on ditching one or two of them soon and if he wants to ditch Manning to see what kind of luck (pun intended) he'll have with the other two, I'll be glad to pick up Manning.

The rest of the managers, to be honest, didn't fare too badly with their choice in QBs, but I have to give another shout out to four other managers who picked not just one kicker but TWO kickers (hey, at least, they didn't pick THREE). The four numbnuts are the two Canadians, nonamedufus and Canucklehead, and LOBO and RaiderDad. Canucklehead takes the cake by picking two kickers as his last two picks with John Kasay and Adam Vinatieiri. Not to be outdone, nonamedufus chose both Janikowski and Gould. LOBO selected Akers and Bironas; finally RaiderDad, with Mason Crosby and Matt Bryant.

Why I call the four numbnuts "numbnuts" is because kickers are a dime a dozen. You don't get that many points from them. You can find one on the waiver wire for the bye week or switch out whenever you need to do so -- same with tight ends, for the most part, except for a few like Rob Gronkowski (whom, oh, yeah, I have too -- read this and weep, mofos!).


Yes, I left Chris, RF and Joe alone this time, but don't worry they will fuck up at some point over the next 15 remaining weeks. Guaranteed and when they do, I'll be there to Tuesday Morning QB the whole fiasco...and ahem, speaking of numbnuts (and not to leave myself out this week), what kind of manager picks another TE after already having Gronk on his squad? Um, yeah, that would be this guy (pointing at myself). At least, it was the last pick of the draft and wasn't Tim Tebow.

2011 HBFFL Week Fourteen Fantasy MVPs

I gotta give the top MVP nod to the Gronk, despite the fact he was the fourth-highest scorer. Thirty-three points is unheard of for a tight end, and he set a record for most TD's in a season at the position. And then there's this play...



QB 1: M.Ryan 39 points (320 yds, 4 pass TD, +5 300+ yds, 1 40+ yd TD)
Future Ex-Cons

QB 2: T. Romo 39 points (321 yds, 4 pass TD, +5 300+ yds, 1 40+ yd TD)
Renal Failure

RB: M.J. Drew 37 points (85 yds, 2 rush TD, 51 rec yds, 2 rec TD)
Unfinished Person

WR: J. Jones 29 points (104 yds, 2 rec TD, 1 40+ yd TD, +5 100+ yds)
Predator Press

TE: R. Gronkowski 33 points (160 yds, 2 rec TD, +5 100+ yds)
Purple Drank