Tuesday, December 2, 2008

Won't Someone Think of the People?

Week 13 for the Failure...

When you shoot at the Queen, you'd better not miss.

The People's Champion missed hardcore in Week 13, losing 119-98. Things looked particularly good after Thursday's Thanksgiving games, then we had a Mets-like collapse (sorry Rickey, we're angry and blindly lashing out in pain here). Now we're on the outside looking in regarding the Real Playoffs and we need the Hand of God, the Elbow of Allah, and the Shoulder of Zoroaster to slip in as the Four Seed (which would pit us against The Queen again, won't that be nice...).

So let's dole out the blame for why the only thing the People's Champion is Championing is either fifth or sixth place...

For starters Renal Failure ourselves are to blame for playing Hines Ward and Maurice Jones-Drew instead of Bernard "99-yard TD reception" Berrian and Steve "35 Fantasy Points" Slaton. Actually, Paula is partly to blame because I wanted to trade Jones-Drew for Roddy White before the deadline and she didn't go for it. If she had, I would have played Slaton and the People would be in a much better mood today.

I blame Philip Rivers for not showing up this Sunday. Though I also have to blame backup Matt Cassel for putting up the same amount of dismal points, thereby tempering my fury at Rivers.

I blame the Chicago Bears defense for only putting up 4 points and for letting Adrian Peterson put up big numbers on them.

But woe to Predator Press if they think The People's Champion will go out quietly in this last game of the regular season. The People's Champion will go out loud and obnoxiously, with possibly some crying too. Because that's how the People roll.

1 comment:

unfinishedrambler said...

You're not this people's champion, let me tell you. I'm hoping the Knee of Aten is against you.