Win streak dead at 7

There goes our win streak... and Arian Foster for the season...

Hopefully we'll get our revenge on LOBO at the sweetest moment... in the playoffs, in the championship game. Until then, we've got Delusions of Adequacy to beat to get that important 8th win. 

-rf

The Seven Deadly Wins

 Predator Press

[LOBO]

TWICE this month, I deployed quarterbacks (Cutler, Locker) that delivered negative points.  To paraphrase, I would have been better off not playing quarterbacks at all.

But this time it worked out. I was playing Renal Failure. My dear friend RF cunningly used Cam Newtron -the inventor of gravity- in an attempt to launch numerous bears into space. But the bears he was using were fat, shut-in bears, lazy from seven victories, while the Preds cleverly brought Brandon Marshall starving, malnourished, emaciated bear cubs.  (Fuck you, PETA.  This is football.)

PETA: Brandon Marshall got 5
points with aerodynamic "Cuddles."
She died bravely in a fumble,
and was very, very tasty.

Still, Predator Press needs a solid TE. We tried to trade nonames with a very generous offer for Tony Gonzalez, and he rejected it. In retrospect we would like to thank nonames for his foresight and continued support of Predator Press, as this would have ruined our season entirely.  But we are still offering Le'Veon Bell and/or a nice portfolio of WR …
 

… Because the big dog in the house is the Future Ex-Cons.

Are we really going to let a sadistic, child torturing “teacher” win two seasons in a row?

-He makes our kids watch books!
 

We're #8!

The Packers gave my man Aaron Rodgers a new helmet.

As a result of week 10's match-up between no names and Gerrog's Ninjas, nonames now has the distinction of having the longest current losing streak in the HBFFL. Hey it's not everybody that can claim such a record. Um, in fact, it's nobody else that even comes close.

I'm not going to go into a blow-by-blow overview of the nonames loss. But when Ninja's St Louis Rams' defence racks up 25 points you can understand how the fix was in.

WR Golden Tate and RB Reggie Bush racked up 21 and 15 respectively but it wasn't enough. WR Victor Cruz carried the ball for 3 fantasy points. And with primo QB Aaron Rodgers out, back up QB Eli Manning only racked up 9 points. The score: Ninjas 88 - nonames 70.

8th place? 6 straight losses? How do I feel about all this?

Lucky seven win streak for the People

by Renal Failure

We weren't going to post this week about our 7-straight victory, but then we saw this in the Yahoo! recap of our Week Nine victory of Troi's Future Ex-Con's.

"Renal Failure has developed a reputation as unbeatable after winning their last seven."

The kindest words we've heard all season... and they come from an automated recap program. Oh well, a win's a win - 104-78 over the 1st place highest scoring team in the HBFFL. Yeah, he didn't have Peyton Manning or Frank Gore, but we didn't have Wes Welker (or technically Arian Foster too).  Bye week blues get no pity from us. Even Jonathan Martin would tell you to buck up.


ZAC STACY 34-POINT BEAR IN ORBIT DAY!!! 

Will we get to 8 straight wins in Week 10 vs. 3rd place Predator Press(6-3)?  Yahoo! doesn't seem to think so, giving LOBO a 106-88 projected edge in our matchup.  For a second week this season, a Renal Failure victory could hinge on Nick Foles forgetting how to play quarterback after a deep space bear-chucking previous week. 

 
LOBO doesn't remember what it's like to lose to Renal Failure, because he hasn't done that since the HBFFL championship game of 2010...

At 7-2, Renal Failure is only two wins away from the magic nine win mark.  No team in the HBFFL has ever missed the playoffs with nine wins.  Only two teams have missed the playoffs with 8 wins (2008 Renal Failure and 2011 NoNames), and only one team has made it in with 7 wins (Purple Drank in 2012 at 7-6-1). 

Renal Failure is the 2010 HBFFL and FTWL champion, as well as the People's Champion. Every week Richie Incognito calls our voicemail and leaves us a pep talk.  We still haven't found his brother Guy Incognito though.

Nowins Nonames

nonames 41 vs Bald Spots 87

I don't want to talk about it.

Byes killed the nonames.

Then Chicago killed Rodgers,

Then an injured Rodgers killed nonames.

After five straight losses I'm changing the name of the team from nonames to nowins.

Eighth place?

WTF.