Time for the final edition of our not-world-famous NFL Playoff Prediction battle, the Super Bowl version. We even have a cool commercial that we ripped off from that thing the kids call the internet.
Going into the finale Renal Failure is 2-8, and myself and Unfinished Rambler are tied at 6-4.
The battle of wits has begun Rambler. It ends when you decide and we both drink, and find out who is right... and who is dead.
2011 Super Bowl: Green Bay Packers vs. Pittsburgh Steelers
RF- Okay... so this was a bad year for picking playoff winners for your People's Champion, but we've still got those shiny 2011 HBFFL and FTWL trophies making us feel better. But we at Renal Failure are fighters and we'll play out the string because we don't know how to quit. Just ask our beleaguered Alcohol Anonymous sponsor.
We're going with Green Bay for the Super Bowl so that Aaron Rodgers can declare that he defeated a dog murderer and a rapist to win his first Super Bowl, something that Brett Favre never did. This will make A-Rodg the greatest Packer QB of all time and erase Favre from everyone's memories, like how Marty McFly's family members started disappearing from that photo in Back to the Future.
But our morbid side would like to see the Steelers win just so Big Ben can say that he's going to DisneyWorld. And then within a week we'll have a story about how Big Ben dragged Cinderella and Daisy Duck into a Magic Kingdom bathroom and made them service him. There's a story to have lingering in your mind during the lockout.
And just because we can, we're going to predict that Philadelphia will beat Los Angeles in the Lingerie Bowl during halftime. And that the real winners of the Puppy Bowl VII will be the Kitten Halftime Show, because cats rule.
(Ed note: I think Renal Failure picked Green Bay)
UR- I'm not sure how to pick this one. Should I go with the experts? If so, the overwhelming favorite, according to experts polled by ESPN, is the Packers, so I should choose the Packers. In the past, I have chosen winners by mascots or cheerleaders, and this year I thought about choosing the winner by the number of major arrests each team has had since 2000 and going with the team with the smaller number of arrests than the other team since the team with the number of smaller arrests than the other would have the moral high ground.
Or I thought conversely maybe I should go with the team with the higher number of arrests because they're real "bruisers," in some cases, literally. However, the Steelers hold only a slight edge to the Packers by 16-11 in that category, so I can't go with the moral superiority of one team over another. So how do I choose?
I had Aaron Rodgers as my quarterback on both of my fantasy football teams -- but I'm an old school Steeler fan (loved Terry Bradshaw, Lynn Swann, Franco Harris). However, this new school of Steelers, especially Ben Roethlisraper, aren't my favorite group of players and I have no one player that I particularly like. In fact, a lot of times, I think -- and I hate to say this, but I think it's true -- the new school of Steelers come across as a bunch of assholes.
However, that's not the (only) reason I'm going to pick against the Steelers. The reason I'm picking against the Steelers is Aaron Rodgers, whom I think is about to usher in a new era of Super Bowl championships for the Packers -- and Clay Matthews on defense. This will come down to a key turnover, which will be instigated by Matthews, and Roethlisraper is prone to making the big interceptions. This is not the place to make them, but he will.
Packers 27, Steelers 23
Chris- With the Packers ahead by a score, the Steelers moving the ball on offense, and three minutes left in regulation, Mike McCarthy breaks out the "Dirty Time" gimmick play on a 3rd-and-one situation. A Packers player, dressed as a cheerleader runs onto the field right after the snap. Big Ben sees the fake cheerleader, fumbles the ball, and gives chase, cornering "her" in a Porta-Potty on the sidelines.
Green Bay wins 34-28.
Showing posts with label nfl 2011 playoffs. Show all posts
Showing posts with label nfl 2011 playoffs. Show all posts
Sunday, February 6, 2011
Saturday, January 15, 2011
2011 NFL Playoff Prediction Battle Divisional Round
Here we are again with the not-so-thrilling HBFFL battle of playoff predictions. This time it's the Divisional Round where men are men and sheep are nervous.
Last week, in the Wild Card Round I jumped out to an early lead with a 2-2 record. Unfinished Rambler and Renal Failure were both 1-3. And Marshawn Lynch went Mario Brothers crazy...
Let's start off this week with the most-anticipated match up on the slate...
Jets vs. Patriots
(Pic Credit: NY Post via Yahoo Sports.)
And frankly, Princess Leia should be Ines Sainz. And I know that is Darrelle Revis but it looks like the guy from Hootie and the Blowfish. Just sayin'.
RF- We apologize for doubting Rex Ryan last week, especially after we were the only ones who believed in the Jets in the playoffs last year. Shine on, you creepy cackling madman. But we've said it before and we'll say it again: All Tom Brady does is throw touchdowns and bang a supermodel. Their 45-3 win over the Jets was an aberration, but it was also a harbinger of what Bill Bellichek will do to you when he doesn't care for your mouth. And Rex Ryan never stops talking.
Patriots 31, Jets 17.
UR- Oooh, baby. This is the game of the week, no question. Rex Ryan vs. Bill Belichick. Tom Brady vs. Mark Sanchez. Wait? What was that last one? Nope, not even close. Brady blows Sanchez and the Jets away. This is the playoffs and the Patriots roll.
Patriots 42, Jets 21.
Chris- Rex Ryan asks to sniff Tom Brady's feet so he can find out what a Super Bowl smells like. Until Belichick and Brady retire that's as close as he will get to a championship.
Patriots 32, Jets 28.
Ravens vs. Steelers
RF- They split the season series, almost identical in stats for those two games. Ben Roethlisberger isn't Matt Cassel, who the Ravens slapped around last week, but the Ravens aren't some skinny co-ed girl that Big Ben can drag crying into a bathroom either. Another tight game, but we're going with the team with Ray Lewis, because we love those Old Spice commercials.
Ravens 24, Steelers 23.
UR- Basically, this week I'm going with whatever team's mascot isn't a bird. In the first game of the weekend, that means I'm going with the Steelers, but that's not the only reason or even the primary reason. Defenses will be key, no kidding, but I give the edge to the Steelers because of two big playmakers: Mike Wallace on offense and Troy Polamulu on defense. Those two will make at least one big play each and give the Steelers the win.
Steelers 17, Ravens 16.
Chris- The Perp Bowl. Ray Lewis vs. Big Ben.
Steelers 27, Ravens 21.
Seahawks vs. Bears
RF- Seattle proved us wrong last week, showing more grit and determination than we ever thought they had in them to beat the Super Bowl Champs. And good behavior should be rewarded. Plus the Seahawks have already beaten the Bears once this season, we don't see why they can't do it again. The Bears Defense and Special Teams are scary, but Jay Cutler (who we have previously referred to as the QB who doles out interceptions like they're radio promotion gifts) doesn't scare us in the least.
Seahawks 24, Bears 20
UR- Miraculously, the Seahawks soared past the Saints, but this week, they are going to be swatted down by the Bears, especially on defense. All of these games really will come down to defense and this one maybe only second to the Ravens and Steelers game.
I say Bears 27, Seahawks 19.
Chris- I can't believe one of these teams will be in the NFC Championship game next week.
Bears 30, Seahawks 20.
Packers vs. Falcons
RF- We heard someone somewhere say that they saw last weeks Packers/Eagles game as the real NFC Conference game, that whoever won that game would likely run the table to get to the Super Bowl. Plus, the Packers beat up the Eagles, the Eagles had previously beaten up the Falcons, therefore by the transitive property of the BCS computer system, the Packers should beat the Falcons, especially now that they've discovered how to run the ball.
Packers 28, Falcons 14.
UR- Out of all the matchups, this is the toughest one to predict, I think. You've got Matt Ryan vs. Aaron Rodgers with two high-powered offenses, but their defenses are no slouches either and are very underrated. I give this one to the Packers based on their defense, which will give them at least one big play, if not more.
Packers 37,Falcons 34.
Chris- In a baffling display of fans going too far, they throw cucumbers on the field in the fourth quarter as a physical representation of Matt Ryan's coolness under pressure. This leads to a 20-minute delay of the game, and the dramatic ending gets pre-empted by a Dancing with the Stars retrospective at 9pm. Except on the West Coast.
Falcons 34, Packers 31.
Last week, in the Wild Card Round I jumped out to an early lead with a 2-2 record. Unfinished Rambler and Renal Failure were both 1-3. And Marshawn Lynch went Mario Brothers crazy...
Let's start off this week with the most-anticipated match up on the slate...
Jets vs. Patriots
And frankly, Princess Leia should be Ines Sainz. And I know that is Darrelle Revis but it looks like the guy from Hootie and the Blowfish. Just sayin'.
RF- We apologize for doubting Rex Ryan last week, especially after we were the only ones who believed in the Jets in the playoffs last year. Shine on, you creepy cackling madman. But we've said it before and we'll say it again: All Tom Brady does is throw touchdowns and bang a supermodel. Their 45-3 win over the Jets was an aberration, but it was also a harbinger of what Bill Bellichek will do to you when he doesn't care for your mouth. And Rex Ryan never stops talking.
Patriots 31, Jets 17.
UR- Oooh, baby. This is the game of the week, no question. Rex Ryan vs. Bill Belichick. Tom Brady vs. Mark Sanchez. Wait? What was that last one? Nope, not even close. Brady blows Sanchez and the Jets away. This is the playoffs and the Patriots roll.
Patriots 42, Jets 21.
Chris- Rex Ryan asks to sniff Tom Brady's feet so he can find out what a Super Bowl smells like. Until Belichick and Brady retire that's as close as he will get to a championship.
Patriots 32, Jets 28.
Ravens vs. Steelers
RF- They split the season series, almost identical in stats for those two games. Ben Roethlisberger isn't Matt Cassel, who the Ravens slapped around last week, but the Ravens aren't some skinny co-ed girl that Big Ben can drag crying into a bathroom either. Another tight game, but we're going with the team with Ray Lewis, because we love those Old Spice commercials.
Ravens 24, Steelers 23.
UR- Basically, this week I'm going with whatever team's mascot isn't a bird. In the first game of the weekend, that means I'm going with the Steelers, but that's not the only reason or even the primary reason. Defenses will be key, no kidding, but I give the edge to the Steelers because of two big playmakers: Mike Wallace on offense and Troy Polamulu on defense. Those two will make at least one big play each and give the Steelers the win.
Steelers 17, Ravens 16.
Chris- The Perp Bowl. Ray Lewis vs. Big Ben.
Steelers 27, Ravens 21.
Seahawks vs. Bears
RF- Seattle proved us wrong last week, showing more grit and determination than we ever thought they had in them to beat the Super Bowl Champs. And good behavior should be rewarded. Plus the Seahawks have already beaten the Bears once this season, we don't see why they can't do it again. The Bears Defense and Special Teams are scary, but Jay Cutler (who we have previously referred to as the QB who doles out interceptions like they're radio promotion gifts) doesn't scare us in the least.
Seahawks 24, Bears 20
UR- Miraculously, the Seahawks soared past the Saints, but this week, they are going to be swatted down by the Bears, especially on defense. All of these games really will come down to defense and this one maybe only second to the Ravens and Steelers game.
I say Bears 27, Seahawks 19.
Chris- I can't believe one of these teams will be in the NFC Championship game next week.
Bears 30, Seahawks 20.
Packers vs. Falcons
RF- We heard someone somewhere say that they saw last weeks Packers/Eagles game as the real NFC Conference game, that whoever won that game would likely run the table to get to the Super Bowl. Plus, the Packers beat up the Eagles, the Eagles had previously beaten up the Falcons, therefore by the transitive property of the BCS computer system, the Packers should beat the Falcons, especially now that they've discovered how to run the ball.
Packers 28, Falcons 14.
UR- Out of all the matchups, this is the toughest one to predict, I think. You've got Matt Ryan vs. Aaron Rodgers with two high-powered offenses, but their defenses are no slouches either and are very underrated. I give this one to the Packers based on their defense, which will give them at least one big play, if not more.
Packers 37,Falcons 34.
Chris- In a baffling display of fans going too far, they throw cucumbers on the field in the fourth quarter as a physical representation of Matt Ryan's coolness under pressure. This leads to a 20-minute delay of the game, and the dramatic ending gets pre-empted by a Dancing with the Stars retrospective at 9pm. Except on the West Coast.
Falcons 34, Packers 31.
Saturday, January 8, 2011
2011 NFL Playoff Prediction Battle Wild Card
Welcome to another year of HBFFL's annual NFL Prediction Battle, where we predict the outcome of each NFL playoff game by having midgets fight miniature lions. In a Colosseum.
But we couldn't afford that.
Instead we have myself Chris Cameron, Renal Failure, and the Unfinished Rambler going mano a mano a mano to see who can best predict the outcome of the NFL playoffs.
Here we go with the NFL Wild Card Round...
Jets vs. Colts
Renal Failure (RF): Last year Renal Failure was the ONLY team to pick the Jets to win their opening round game. Well, we're not going to do it again this year because Matt Sanchez has been dinged up and that Jets defense has looked way too vulnerable in recent weeks. Also, as much as we like Rex Ryan for being an utter madman, he cannot beat Peyton Manning.
Colts 27, Jets 17.
Unfinished Rambler (UR): Last year I chose who I thought would be the winners of the wild card games by mascots. This year I'm just going with my gut reaction for each game. Here, my gut says the Colts. No. 1 reason: Peyton Manning.
Colts 21, Jets 14.
Chris (Chris): Mark Sanchez develops a nasty foot fungus during the halftime locker speech and it totally grosses Rex Ryan out.
Colts 36, Jets 21.
Ravens vs. Chiefs
RF: We were going to pick the Ravens to win, but we said "No, let's be bold!" And being bold is why we are the People's Champion. And so by the power of Dwayne Bowe, we say that the Chiefs pull off the upset.
Chiefs 20, Ravens 17.
UR: Gut says Ravens based on D and RL, not on O, though.
Ravens 23, Chiefs 17.
Chris: The Chiefs take up the mantra of old time hockey, like Eddie Shore. But this is football.
Ravens 32, Chiefs 14.
Saints vs. Seahawks
RF: We like rooting for the underdog more than anyone on this blog, but the Seahawks did not get into the playoffs with grit and determination. They got in because they played in the weakest division ever and someone had to win it. Plus Drew Brees will be looking to reestablish the Saints as a serious contender after a regular season that made people believe New Orleans was a team to steal on.
Saints 45, Seahawks 13
UR: Super Bowl Champion defenders roll out the red carpet on what they hope to be their return to the championship...and might be. With Brees at the helm, Saints march over the Seahawks 38-17.
Saints 37, Seahawks 13
Chris: Pete Carroll mandates the practice squad dress up in three piece suits bearing the team colors and root on the team from the sideline with bullhorns and pom-poms.
Saints 37, Seahawks 3.
Packers vs. Eagles
RF: It's no secret that your People's Champ is an Eagles fan, however that Tuesday Night Minnesota game exposed how to beat the Eagles. And if anyone can exploit the Eagles weaknesses on defense, it's Aaron Rodgers. This one's a hard call to make, but you don't get to be the People's Champ without making hard decisions.
Packers 28, Eagles 24.
UR: Head says Packers, because after all, Aaron Rodgers was my quarterback this past season, but my gut says Michael Vick, the quarterback, I traded away to LOBO in two leagues this season, will lead the Iggles to victory. And so he shall.
Eagles 31, Packers 28.
Chris: Some radical cruelty to animals advocates stage a protest during the game, releasing ten pit bulls on the field during a crucial Eagles drive. Kevin Kolb finishes the game and lobs 3 interceptions despite the fact he only threw two passes.
Packers 31, Eagles 17
But we couldn't afford that.
Instead we have myself Chris Cameron, Renal Failure, and the Unfinished Rambler going mano a mano a mano to see who can best predict the outcome of the NFL playoffs.
Here we go with the NFL Wild Card Round...
Jets vs. Colts
Renal Failure (RF): Last year Renal Failure was the ONLY team to pick the Jets to win their opening round game. Well, we're not going to do it again this year because Matt Sanchez has been dinged up and that Jets defense has looked way too vulnerable in recent weeks. Also, as much as we like Rex Ryan for being an utter madman, he cannot beat Peyton Manning.
Colts 27, Jets 17.
Unfinished Rambler (UR): Last year I chose who I thought would be the winners of the wild card games by mascots. This year I'm just going with my gut reaction for each game. Here, my gut says the Colts. No. 1 reason: Peyton Manning.
Colts 21, Jets 14.
Chris (Chris): Mark Sanchez develops a nasty foot fungus during the halftime locker speech and it totally grosses Rex Ryan out.
Colts 36, Jets 21.
Ravens vs. Chiefs
RF: We were going to pick the Ravens to win, but we said "No, let's be bold!" And being bold is why we are the People's Champion. And so by the power of Dwayne Bowe, we say that the Chiefs pull off the upset.
Chiefs 20, Ravens 17.
UR: Gut says Ravens based on D and RL, not on O, though.
Ravens 23, Chiefs 17.
Chris: The Chiefs take up the mantra of old time hockey, like Eddie Shore. But this is football.
Ravens 32, Chiefs 14.
Saints vs. Seahawks
RF: We like rooting for the underdog more than anyone on this blog, but the Seahawks did not get into the playoffs with grit and determination. They got in because they played in the weakest division ever and someone had to win it. Plus Drew Brees will be looking to reestablish the Saints as a serious contender after a regular season that made people believe New Orleans was a team to steal on.
Saints 45, Seahawks 13
UR: Super Bowl Champion defenders roll out the red carpet on what they hope to be their return to the championship...and might be. With Brees at the helm, Saints march over the Seahawks 38-17.
Saints 37, Seahawks 13
Chris: Pete Carroll mandates the practice squad dress up in three piece suits bearing the team colors and root on the team from the sideline with bullhorns and pom-poms.
Saints 37, Seahawks 3.
Packers vs. Eagles
RF: It's no secret that your People's Champ is an Eagles fan, however that Tuesday Night Minnesota game exposed how to beat the Eagles. And if anyone can exploit the Eagles weaknesses on defense, it's Aaron Rodgers. This one's a hard call to make, but you don't get to be the People's Champ without making hard decisions.
Packers 28, Eagles 24.
UR: Head says Packers, because after all, Aaron Rodgers was my quarterback this past season, but my gut says Michael Vick, the quarterback, I traded away to LOBO in two leagues this season, will lead the Iggles to victory. And so he shall.
Eagles 31, Packers 28.
Chris: Some radical cruelty to animals advocates stage a protest during the game, releasing ten pit bulls on the field during a crucial Eagles drive. Kevin Kolb finishes the game and lobs 3 interceptions despite the fact he only threw two passes.
Packers 31, Eagles 17
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