Here we are again with the not-so-thrilling HBFFL battle of playoff predictions. This time it's the Divisional Round where men are men and sheep are nervous.
Last week, in the Wild Card Round I jumped out to an early lead with a 2-2 record. Unfinished Rambler and Renal Failure were both 1-3. And Marshawn Lynch went Mario Brothers crazy...
Let's start off this week with the most-anticipated match up on the slate...
Jets vs. Patriots
And frankly, Princess Leia should be Ines Sainz. And I know that is Darrelle Revis but it looks like the guy from Hootie and the Blowfish. Just sayin'.
RF- We apologize for doubting Rex Ryan last week, especially after we were the only ones who believed in the Jets in the playoffs last year. Shine on, you creepy cackling madman. But we've said it before and we'll say it again: All Tom Brady does is throw touchdowns and bang a supermodel. Their 45-3 win over the Jets was an aberration, but it was also a harbinger of what Bill Bellichek will do to you when he doesn't care for your mouth. And Rex Ryan never stops talking.
Patriots 31, Jets 17.
UR- Oooh, baby. This is the game of the week, no question. Rex Ryan vs. Bill Belichick. Tom Brady vs. Mark Sanchez. Wait? What was that last one? Nope, not even close. Brady blows Sanchez and the Jets away. This is the playoffs and the Patriots roll.
Patriots 42, Jets 21.
Chris- Rex Ryan asks to sniff Tom Brady's feet so he can find out what a Super Bowl smells like. Until Belichick and Brady retire that's as close as he will get to a championship.
Patriots 32, Jets 28.
Ravens vs. Steelers
RF- They split the season series, almost identical in stats for those two games. Ben Roethlisberger isn't Matt Cassel, who the Ravens slapped around last week, but the Ravens aren't some skinny co-ed girl that Big Ben can drag crying into a bathroom either. Another tight game, but we're going with the team with Ray Lewis, because we love those Old Spice commercials.
Ravens 24, Steelers 23.
UR- Basically, this week I'm going with whatever team's mascot isn't a bird. In the first game of the weekend, that means I'm going with the Steelers, but that's not the only reason or even the primary reason. Defenses will be key, no kidding, but I give the edge to the Steelers because of two big playmakers: Mike Wallace on offense and Troy Polamulu on defense. Those two will make at least one big play each and give the Steelers the win.
Steelers 17, Ravens 16.
Chris- The Perp Bowl. Ray Lewis vs. Big Ben.
Steelers 27, Ravens 21.
Seahawks vs. Bears
RF- Seattle proved us wrong last week, showing more grit and determination than we ever thought they had in them to beat the Super Bowl Champs. And good behavior should be rewarded. Plus the Seahawks have already beaten the Bears once this season, we don't see why they can't do it again. The Bears Defense and Special Teams are scary, but Jay Cutler (who we have previously referred to as the QB who doles out interceptions like they're radio promotion gifts) doesn't scare us in the least.
Seahawks 24, Bears 20
UR- Miraculously, the Seahawks soared past the Saints, but this week, they are going to be swatted down by the Bears, especially on defense. All of these games really will come down to defense and this one maybe only second to the Ravens and Steelers game.
I say Bears 27, Seahawks 19.
Chris- I can't believe one of these teams will be in the NFC Championship game next week.
Bears 30, Seahawks 20.
Packers vs. Falcons
RF- We heard someone somewhere say that they saw last weeks Packers/Eagles game as the real NFC Conference game, that whoever won that game would likely run the table to get to the Super Bowl. Plus, the Packers beat up the Eagles, the Eagles had previously beaten up the Falcons, therefore by the transitive property of the BCS computer system, the Packers should beat the Falcons, especially now that they've discovered how to run the ball.
Packers 28, Falcons 14.
UR- Out of all the matchups, this is the toughest one to predict, I think. You've got Matt Ryan vs. Aaron Rodgers with two high-powered offenses, but their defenses are no slouches either and are very underrated. I give this one to the Packers based on their defense, which will give them at least one big play, if not more.
Packers 37,Falcons 34.
Chris- In a baffling display of fans going too far, they throw cucumbers on the field in the fourth quarter as a physical representation of Matt Ryan's coolness under pressure. This leads to a 20-minute delay of the game, and the dramatic ending gets pre-empted by a Dancing with the Stars retrospective at 9pm. Except on the West Coast.
Falcons 34, Packers 31.