Tuesday, November 25, 2008

Who can stop this blonde menace?


Leigh addresses the HBFFL...

There is a terrible tyrant at the top of the standings, and the task of toppling this despot falls to Renal Failure this week. And the Failure is up to the task. Why?

Because Renal Failure is the People's Champion.

See, Leigh is the Queen of Fantasy Football, and it's always the People who rise up to overthrow an abusive monarchy. And a 101-point margin of victory over The Ramblers more than qualifies as abusive. And Renal Failure is just the team to help the people rise up and cast off these oppressive chains. Why?

Because Renal Failure is the People's Champion.

Yes, Leigh put up more points in one week than Renal Failure has put up in the last two. Yes, Leigh has not only the top quarterback but the top two running backs in the league as well. Yes, Leigh destroyed the us in Week Four 121-94 and also has a four-game winning streak just like we do. But that doesn't matter here in Week 13. Why?

Because Renal Failure is the People's Champion.

If Leigh wins this week, she just doesn't beat Renal Failure, she beats The People. She beats all of you (and clinches the number one seed in the playoffs while putting our playoff hopes in the Intensive Care Unit). This week we are all Renal Failure. It's like being Spartacus, but less greasy.

But even though the task is tall and the Queen is most formidable, there is something in The People's favor: Matchups. Super QB Drew Brees plays a tough Tampa Bay defense and Adrian Petersen has to run against the Bears. The People's running backs Chris Johnson and Maurice Jones-Drew have favorable matchups against Detroit and Houston, and Philip Rivers has Atlanta who is 23rd in pass defense. Unfortunately Terrell Owens also gets to play against a porous Seattle squad, but we can't make it easy for the People's Champion now can we?

The People have spoken, and they want freedom.