Tuesday, November 4, 2008

Hollow victories are still victories... they just echo

Renal Failure is pleased that they were the only team to crack the 100 point mark in our much-needed victory this week... however, intellectual and professional honesty must point out that our opponents The Washington Crooks would have had us beat if AOE remembered that Chris Chambers was on a bye had played the only other eligible wide receiver on his bench, Derrick Mason.

Then again, after getting beat two weeks ago by a 22-point day by a tight end we firmly believe the Fantasy Football gods owed us a solid.

And so the Failure stands at 4-5 after one go-round through the league, only two games behind the four-car pileup taking up the primary playoff slots. Unfortunately the schedule doesn't look kind for us. Renal Failure is a combined 1-4 against the remaining teams. Yes, one of those teams is The Menschwarmers (1-8, but we're the 1) and Rickey's been the deadbeat dad of the HBFFL, but that just means that this is the week Rickey starts paying attention, mainly out of spite because Renal Failure roots for the World Fucking Champion Phillies and Rickey supported the non-playoff-making Mets.

After that it's La Machine (the only other team in the league to score more points than the Failure), Paula's Googly-Eyed Goons (also 4-5 and hungry for a playoff spot), Fantasy Virgin (no one give her a good second receiver or we're all dead), and Predator Press (who beat us by 55 in Week 5).

But you can't count out a team that has put up 888 points in 9 weeks. At least not for another week or two. Renal Failure has the top kicker (David Akers) and defense (Da Bears) in the league, Philip Rivers is third in quarterback points, Larry Fitzgerald is second for receivers, and Chris Johnson is sixth in points for running backs. If Maurice Jones-Drew finds some consistency and Bernard Berrian can keep up his torrid pace, we'll have to re-institute the 120+ rule for defeating the Failure.

At the very least, Renal Failure has a lot of attractive talent to trade for. At the very middle, Renal Failure has the capability to spoil a lot of teams chances for the playoffs. At the very best, Renal Failure will be a team you won't want to face in the first round of the playoffs.