Tuesday, November 11, 2008

Still around... at least for another week

When your wide receiver, running back, and tight end put up only one point between the three of them, there's only one way you're going to win that week... if your opponent doesn't show up.

But our luck of facing teams who have forgotten to field full lineups has run out. Now we've got first-place La Machine this week and it doesn't look good, even on a Tuesday. The leading scorers in the league are projected for 94 points while Renal Failure is projected for 83... and Chris hasn't even put in his usual starters Santana Moss and Clinton Portis yet.

(Note: Paula's Googly-Eyed Goons are in a similar position, as Leigh's Fantasy Virgin is projected for 99 points to Paula's 88, but it looks like she can't really improve upon that lineup.)

Also going against us is the fact that the last time Renal Failure had a two-game winning streak The Ramblers whipped out an improbable Dallas Clark 21-point game to take us down.

(Note: TE Kellen Winslow put up 28 this week for Rickey Henderson's Menchwarmers... what is it with tight ends and causing pain for Renal Failure? And Chris has Tony Gonzales... super...)

So this week we find the trends are against Renal Failure, making us the spunky underdogs in this struggle. So that would make La Machine the snobby rich kids' camp from across the lake who want to shut us down. And how do you win against the snobby rich kids' camp? You drill holes in their canoes, spike their lunches with laxatives, and have sex with their hottest girl so that she helps you instead of her jerk boyfriend who takes her for granted. What that translates to in Fantasy Football-speak, I'm not sure. But I'm sure it involves big weeks from Chris Johnson and Maurice Jones-Drew, everyone on La Machine having strokes, and AOE trading me Anquan Boldin for shiny trinkets and blankets full of polio.

Renal Failure is one game behind The Ramblers for that last playoff spot, along with Predator Press. The Preds have the Menschwarmers this week and the Ramblers have possible bad karma from last week lingering over them on top of a tough match-up against What the Canuck? It's going to be a messy race for that last spot, and some teams might not have towels.