2009 Super Bowl Predictions

Here we are. The Super Bowl.

Can I write that legally? Oh well I just did.

Much like your favorite team bringing in Terrell Owens, the Super Bowl is a day of great joy and sadness in the football fan's heart. It is the biggest game of the year and at the same time the last one.

Try not to cry in your corn chips. You are supposed to share them with everyone after all.

Super Bowl: Pittsburgh Steelers "at" Arizona Cardinals

Matt: WTFDUDE.

Why do they use Roman numerals to tell us which super bowl it is? I feel like I'm watching a re-run of Tom and Jerry when they start flashing X's and C's. I'd really like them to start using numbers...even if they want to use the metric system. Duh.

On to the game.

A person would be stupid to bet against the Steelers. They have the defense, toughness, and AFC-ness to win the game. In fact, it could be a blowout.

But I'm not buying it. The Cardinals have played teams every week who are better than them. And what happened? Cardinals win. Cardinals win again...and again. They have something to prove to their fans and the country.

Who cares if nobody in the country can name a single defensive player on their team? They are good, and will make it a long day for the Steeler offense.

Ben double bacon Roethlisberger will have to step up to the plate as I believe the Cardinal defense is going to make it a long day for Willie Parker. I don't see much more than 60 yards for him.

On the other side, I think the Steelers will focus too heavily on Fitzgerald. Warner will break a couple long plays to another receiver who will only see man coverage. In fact, this will be the difference a low-scoring affair.

Cardinals win 17-13, and the Warner-beard becomes the latest craze.

I end up only watching 20 minutes of this boring contest, and wishing I would have ponied up for some pay-per-view lingerie halftime show.

Springstein shows his nipple while singing "Born in the USA" at halftime, and I end up as the most accurate pick-em champion of this blog. Check the results....they don't lie.

Rambler: Well, the final sign of the Apocalypse, The Pennsylvania Super Bowl, didn’t happen, as Chris and I predicted last week, as the Cardinals upset the Eagles…

…and I don’t believe the Rapture will happen this week either, as Kurt Warner, a self-proclaimed born-again Christian, will be unable to lead the Cardinals franchise to NFL Championship Heaven either for its second time (1925) and his second time (first time, Super Bowl XXXIV with the St. Louis Rams).

“But seek first his kingdom and his righteousness, and all these things shall be yours as well,” reads Matthew 6:33 on Warner’s personal website. To me, that seems pretty cocky, Kurt, and as a Steeler fan flies in the face of at least one of the members of this year’s squad.

To wit:

Troy Polamalu, according to this article at NFL.com, is a Greek Orthodox Christian and spent four hours in prayer on the eve of last week’s game. Pipe down with your holiness, Rev. Warner. We’ve got your holiness right here (and Greek Orthodox don’t believe in the Rapture, bub). You remember Sampson, don’t you? Well, this dude’s hair is still growing and it’s going to flow all over you. Boo-yaa.

This week, I predict that Polamalu spends even less time in prayer, as he got a good healthy dose of it last week, but his team still wins, 27-17, with much thanks to the partnership of Polamalu & Parker and the tag team tandem of R. Lord & Savior Jesus Christ, Heaven Yeah! In your face, Mr. Warner, respectfully (making the sign of the Cross backwards like the Orthodox do).

Chris: One good thing about the Super Bowl: The ads are not repetitive.

Thank God because every playoff game in any sport these days is an excuse to run 524 ads for the new hit tv show or cut to the cast of some other new hit show in the stands.

Network television, thy name is Rehab. (That's Rehab as in the prostitute from the Bible, not a suggestion that ABC go into rehab)

In the NFL, the best tactic is building a squad to beat the best teams. We saw a great example of this in the 90's when Green Bay, Dallas, and San Francisco were constantly tweaking their lineups to beat each other.

Playing in the AFC, the Steelers build to beat the Patriots. With New England out of the picture it was no surprise they ran up a 12-4 record on a very very tough schedule.

One concern a lot of people have is points. Can Pittsburgh can score enough to win?

All they have to do is keep playing the way they have and hope Big Ben doesn't get hit too much and they should be fine. Unlike most teams, the Steelers have the defense to stop Arizona.

They also are extremely physical. Pittsburgh can wear opponents down on offense and defense. Hell, even the receivers hit really hard.



Playing in the NFC, The Cardinals do not have any opponent that is that "team to beat" so they will need to execute flawlessly.

Another key for Arizona will be Pittsburgh's Cover Two defense. They need to exploit it and the offensive line needs to hold. I wonder if the Cards will pull out the plays where their tight ends run short out patterns.

Arizona's defense will allow them to stick around for awhile but Pittsburgh's experience and physical play will win the game.

Pittsburgh 31
Arizona 17

Well that wraps it up for the 2009 Playoff Predictions. Hope everyone had fun, I know I did. To send us out here are The Happenings with "See You In September"...