The New England Patriots haven't won a Superbowl since Tom Brady met Gisele Bundchen in 2007.
Chris, get some tight jeans, Tic-Tacs, and start slapping on eye-watering amounts of that Brut cologne you got for Christmas.
Drink as much alcohol as need to -but paper bag or no, you're gonna have to take one for the team here.
If that doesn't work, try seducing Gisele instead.
