Showing posts with label Thank You Jesus. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Thank You Jesus. Show all posts

Sunday, December 25, 2011

Predator Press HBFFL 2011 Champion

Predator Press

[LOBO]

I have said over the past few weeks that I didn’t think my team could defeat many teams out there. And I went on to say explicitly, “Nobody is beating Renal Failure, barring RF’s team suffering an unlikely cascade of unfortunate catastrophic events.”

It would take –dare I say it?

A miracle.

With the lowest “Points Against” even now, it was clear early on that Jesus wasn't going to let you pagan infidels score against me. And nobody was more floored than I to see the vast number of last-minute horrific injuries Jesus would inflict upon your pagan infidel teams to ensure my 2011 triumph.

So we must ponder solemnly upon the message that Jesus is sending us with this victory -on His very Sacred and Hallowed Birthday- and be thankful for His benevolent and judicious generosity. For what better Christmas gift can Jesus give you but the gift of me? And a glorious reign under my iron fists of galvanized Anointed wisdom for the next 8760 hours?

Well, 8759 now.

-It took me an hour to write this.

So first, I should take a few of these regal moments to articulate a well thought out rebuttal to Renal Failure’s recent insightful and comprehensive Humor Bowl analysis:

"Pttthbbt!"

Now that have that out of the way, I should also underline that I fear nothing. Except brain eating amoebas.  And most birds.  And tap water.  And confined spaces, open spaces, bees, Brussels sprouts, Hittites, Styrofoam, latex, icebergs, robots, bobcats, umbrellas, people named "Clyde," triangles, the number 4, most small children, New Jersey, stairs, everything after 'Bromine' on the Periodic Table, crowds, saccharin, airline travel, hyenas, zebras, and numerous judges from a list of municipalities too long to list.

-Nothing!

Further, I would like to individually acknowledge and thank all those that made this glorious, historic reign possible:


And finally, thanks to my formidable, funny, respected HBFFL colleagues and Unfinished Person for another really fun season.

-See you on the gridiron next year!

:)